Ellen Weighs Pros and Cons of Hosting Oscars

Ellen DeGeneres launched Season 11 of her popular talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Monday, but forgot to comment on an important happening in her life: hosting the Oscars. She made up for the oversight on Tuesday by revealing to viewers the list of pros and cons that influenced her decision to accept the gig.

"The way I deal with big decisions is I...make a pros and cons list, and I thought I would take you on a journey inside of my mind—which is scary, hold on!—and I thought I'd read you some pros and cons from my list," DeGeneres says in the monologue of Tuesday's show.

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After comically pulling out a long receipt, the affable host reads off her pros and subsequent cons to hosting the Oscars, which she previously hosted in 2007.

The pros/cons:
1) Performing in front of 60 million people/ "Oh my God, 60 million people watch that thing!"
2) Being invited to all the Oscar after-parties/ "I like to be tucked in by 7:30"
3) Meryl Streep could get a record 17th Oscar nomination/ "#WereOverItMeryl"
4) Fancy designers wanting her to wear their dress/ "Ain't no way in hell I'm wearing a gown"
5) She's done it before, the second time will be even better/ "My second sitcom got canceled after five minutes"
6) Hosting will prevent her from sitting on her couch drinking margaritas/ "If I'm on stage hosting, I won't be sitting on my couch drinking margaritas"
7) The theater holds 3,000 seats/ "It's going to take 45 minutes to dance through all those aisles"

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DeGeneres will host the 86th Academy Awards at Hollywood's Dolby Theater on March 2, 2014. Her talk show airs weekdays; check your local listings.