All the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Sex Scenes by the Numbers

by John Boone 8:50 AM PST, February 12, 2015
Photo: Universal Pictures

We already told you everything that surprised us while watching Fifty Shades of Grey (like for one, it’s kind of good?). But we know what you really want: You want to know EXACTLY how much sex there is in the movie. Here’s your answer in the most scientific way possible.

(WARNING: Spoilers! Also, sex stuff that might be considered NSFW!)

41 - Minutes into the movie before the first sex scene happens.

7 - Total sex scenes*. (*We’re including some BDSM scenes that don’t involve traditional intercourse but seem sex scene-y enough to count.)

1 - Sex scene that barely counts as a sex scene because it’s sad.

3 - Sex scenes that actually take place in the Red Room.

20 - Minutes, approximately, of total sex in the movie.

8 - Total spanks Anastasia receives in the movie.

10(ish) - Total times Ana gets whipped in the movie, give or take a flogging.

0 - Sex scenes involving tampons (versus the 1 sex scene involving tampons in the book).

NEWS: The six most ridiculous ‘Fifty Shades’ products you can buy!

1 - Scene where they take a bath together and Christian washes Ana’s boobs.

2 - Scenes where Jamie Dornan pensively plays the piano shirtless.

2 - Amount of times Christian says “Laters, baby.”

0 - Percent of Dakota Johnson’s body left to the imagination.

3 - Percent of Jamie Dornan’s body left to the imagination (or whatever percent of his body the unseen half of his penis represents).

4 - Times you see Jamie Dornan’s perfect butt.

Infinity - Times you want to bang Jamie Dornan.

Get a sneak peek of the sexiness with this clip of Ana and Christian in bed: