We already told you everything that surprised us while watching Fifty Shades of Grey (like for one, it’s kind of good?). But we know what you really want: You want to know EXACTLY how much sex there is in the movie. Here’s your answer in the most scientific way possible.
(WARNING: Spoilers! Also, sex stuff that might be considered NSFW!)
41 - Minutes into the movie before the first sex scene happens.
7 - Total sex scenes*. (*We’re including some BDSM scenes that don’t involve traditional intercourse but seem sex scene-y enough to count.)
1 - Sex scene that barely counts as a sex scene because it’s sad.
3 - Sex scenes that actually take place in the Red Room.
20 - Minutes, approximately, of total sex in the movie.
8 - Total spanks Anastasia receives in the movie.
10(ish) - Total times Ana gets whipped in the movie, give or take a flogging.
0 - Sex scenes involving tampons (versus the 1 sex scene involving tampons in the book).
1 - Scene where they take a bath together and Christian washes Ana’s boobs.
2 - Scenes where Jamie Dornan pensively plays the piano shirtless.
2 - Amount of times Christian says “Laters, baby.”
0 - Percent of Dakota Johnson’s body left to the imagination.
3 - Percent of Jamie Dornan’s body left to the imagination (or whatever percent of his body the unseen half of his penis represents).
4 - Times you see Jamie Dornan’s perfect butt.
Infinity - Times you want to bang Jamie Dornan.
Get a sneak peek of the sexiness with this clip of Ana and Christian in bed: