10 Reasons Why We Don't Need Another 'Sex and the City' Movie

by John Boone 4:06 PM PDT, May 12, 2015
Photo: New Line Cinema

We love Carrie Bradshaw. She’s given us so much already, and we can’t thank her enough for that. What we can do is this: Let her rest. IRL alter ego Sarah Jessica Parker sparking rumors of more Sex and the City may have once made us feel like this:

Now the prospect of a Sex and the City 3 movie has us feeling like, well:

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1. Because Sex and the City 2 was bad enough: It can’t get worse than SATC 2. Except that realistically, it probably could. Sex and the City, the series, was a Golden Globe and Emmy winner. The first SATC movie is 49 percent fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. Already, not amazing. SATC 2 is four percent fresh. FOUR. A precedent has been set. Let’s not tarnish the legacy anymore.

2. Because we don’t want another “Lawrence of my labia” situation:

Do we?

Photo: New Line Cinema

3. Because bigger isn’t always better: The SATC movies seem to feel they need to go big (lowercase “B”) or go home. Which is why we ended up in Mexico in the original, then Abu Dhabi in the sequel. We just want Carrie and her friends living their day-to-day life in New York City. That’s what we signed up for in the first place.

Photo: New Line Cinema

4. Because we don’t need the cameos: As with the tropical locales, the movies try to dazzle and wow us with celebrities. But we don’t need Miley Cyrus, or Liza Minnelli, or Tim Gunn (no disrespect to Tim Gunn). We don’t need new characters either, like whoever Jennifer Hudson played in the first movie, or unnecessary reunions, like when Carrie saw Aidan (John Corbett) halfway around the world. We want the basics -- which might not be good enough for movie theaters these days.

5. Because we’re actually excited for SJP’s other HBO show: A decade later, Sarah Jessica will return to pay cable for Divorce, where she’ll play a woman named Frances who realizes making a clean break isn’t as easy as she may have thought. And Molly Shannon plays her best friend! Sign us up!

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Photo: The CW

6. And there’s another SATC property we’d want to see instead: If anyone is investing money into bringing Carrie Bradshaw back to a screen, can we put that into another season of the CW’s gone-too-soon Carrie Diaries? We never got the chance to see how Carrie meets Miranda and Charlotte...

Photo: Walt Disney Pictures

7. Because we want a different sequel from SJP first: Before we get Sex and the City 3, can we please have Hocus Pocus 2? How has Disney not made a Hocus Pocus sequel yet?! They have some of the biggest stars in the world, witches are all the rage now, and the fans want it. It’s a bad business decision not to reunite the Sanderson sisters. It makes no sense.

8. Especially because SJP says she’d do Hocus Pocus 2:

9. Bette Midler has said she’d do it too: In a Reddit AMA, Bette responded to a fan who asked about the sequel by saying, “chuckles You have to go to send in your cards to the Walt Disney company. The ball's in their court.”

She later clarified, “Inundate the Disney company, because I have canvassed the girls and they are wiling to do it, but we have no say in it, so if you want a HOCUS POCUS 2, ask the Walt Disney company...SISTAHS!”

10. And obviously Kathy Najimy is ready: Najimy told BuzzFeed News, “When a film is being shot, you never quite know the impact. If it’ll be a hit or a miss, and with this one, we hear y’all loud and clear! A sequel is totally in The Disney company’s hands -- and it will be exciting to see what transpires!”

Looking back, we realize this post was basically just a honey trap to trick you into reading about how much we want a Hocus Pocus sequel. Sorry not sorry!

Now, hear what SJP told ET about her big return to HBO on Divorce: