Taylor Swift Says Swear Words and Cries When She's Drunk (Just Like the Rest of Us!)

by John Boone 1:24 PM PDT, September 11, 2014
Photo: Rolling Stone

BREAKING! BREAKING! Taylor Swift occasionally imbibes in an adult beverage. Also, she says f--k. This much we know after reading Rolling Stone's "22 Things You Learn Hanging Out With Taylor Swift."

Need proof? Taylor Swift says so herself! BREAKING!

"When I first started drinking—when I was like 21—I used to cry about Joni Mitchell all the time after a few glasses of wine," she says. "All my friends would know, once I started crying about Joni Mitchell, it was time for me to go to bed."

A few questions: Does she cry listening to Joni Mitchell music because Joni Mitchell music is so moving? Or just thinking about Joni Mitchell in general? Does she cry thinking about something specific that happened to Joni Mitchell? Or did Joni Mitchell do something to Taylor Swift to make her cry? And what does Taylor Swift cry about when she gets drunk now?

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As for the cursing, the writer reveals: "Although Swift has cultivated a pretty G-rated image, in private she's just like anyone else. At one point she's playing some rough demos of a few new songs on her iPhone...[on it] Swift is playing the piano and hits a wrong note when she blurts out, 'F--k!' Blushing, the real-life Swift immediately attempts to cover the speaker on her phone."

A few more questions: Was Taylor Swift more upset about the reporter hearing her mess up the piano part or saying "The F Word"? Does Taylor Swift think we think she has never and will never swear in her life? What does Taylor Swift say when she stubs her toe? Does she blush afterwards?

Actually learning 22 things you learn while hanging out with Taylor Swift has left us with more questions than it's answered. Like:

The Quote: "She did, however, find a new use for one walk-in closet:'Now it's my greeting-card writing room!'"
Questions: How many greeting cards does Taylor Swift write daily? Monthly? Annually? Does she write enough to actually warrant a dedicated room (closet)? If so, who is she writing all these greeting cards to? People she knows? Or does she just open the Yellow Pages and pick an address?

WATCH: Dad and daughter create adorable Taylor Swift dance video!

The Quote: "[Taylor] was also the first person to give [Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff] a housewarming present when they moved into their new apartment. It was a taxidermied moth."
Questions: Did Taylor Swift kill the moth herself? If so, did she taxidermy the moth too? Does Taylor Swift have a walk-in closet dedicated to taxidermying dead insects?

The Quote: "I'm incapable of telling when food is on my face. It's like I don't have nerves in my skin. So if I get, like, a heinous piece of chocolate on my face, please let me know."
Questions: Is this an actual medical condition?

The Quote:"I've never ordered anything from Amazon. But my brother does all the time."
Questions: Is Taylor Swift scared of drones?

The Quote: "The gossip press reported that Swift and her pal [Selena Gomez] weren't on speaking terms because of the latter's involvement with Justin Bieber. Not true, says Swift...'There were all these blogs, like, 'Are they feuding? Are they fighting?' Meanwhile Selena and I would be on the phone that night, laughing about it.'"
Questions: But does she hate Justin Bieber? She never said.

And we may never know.