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Debra Messing: Split with Husband Was 'Traumatic'

by 9:16 AM PDT, May 04, 2012
Photo: Getty Images

Debra Messing is opening up about the recent breakup with her husband, Daniel Zelman, describing the split and her subsequent relocation from Los Angeles to New York as "completely traumatic."

While the marriage lasted 10 years, the couple was actually together for 20, and Debra tells Ladies' Home she's proud it lasted as long as it did. "It's a very long time. When I say the move to New York was traumatic, it was traumatic because every aspect of my life was going through a huge change." 

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The Smash star said the breakup affected every aspect of her life as well that of her son, Roman. "I had to find a school for my second-grader. We didn't have a home, we didn't have furniture. It was literally moving here with nothing but faith and hope."

Debra said the split was amicable and that "every thought" has been directed to what's best for their son. "We are dear friends. And I am at peace with the journey we've had. I feel like the 20 years we had together has been a huge success. And despite the fact that everything is changing, I think everyone is thriving."

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The 43-year-old actress told the magazine the failed marriage was not necessarily a case of simply drifting apart. "I think the institution of marriage is a noble thing. I think the idea of a partner for life is incredibly romantic. But now we're living to 100. A hundred years ago, people were dying at age 37. Til death do us part was a much different deal."

When asked whether the recent changes in her life had caused her reexamine who she is, Debra reveals that she's now resolved to say "no" more often in order to avoid taking on too much. "I'm trying to keep things as simple as possible -- embracing saying "no" and being okay with people being unhappy with me."

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