Happy B-Day, Suri Cruise! 10 Best Burn-Book Jabs

April 18, 2013

Suri Cruise turns seven years old today, and what better way to celebrate the style-savvy grade school gal than by picking 10 of our favorite celebrity jabs from her fictional (yet hilarious) blog, Suri's Burn Book. If you're unfamiliar with this Tumblr, it's a "study in Suri and the people who disappoint her."

1. Tom Cruise "If you wanted proof I have less influence over Tom's wardrobe nowadays, here it is: a turtleneck on a red carpet."

2. Katie Holmes "I see this hairdo every single day, so now you know how hard it is to be me."

RELATED PICS: Adorable Celebrity Kids

3. Abel Arnett "Amy Poehler's ginger child is the most lifelike cartoon character I've ever seen."

4. Willow and Jaden Smith "The thing is -- I, too, am too cool for the Kids' Choice Awards. But you know what I do? I don't go to the Kids' Choice Awards."

5. Jessica Simpson and Maxwell Johnson "Jessica Simpson tweeted this photo along with the caption, 'Maxwell has her momma's pout down pat.' She also has her mother's cheeks, affinity for leopard print and weird hair choices. What is going on with that ponytail?"

RELATED VIDEO: Suri Shows Her Attitude 

6. Jewel "This is Jewel and her family, spending a weekend reenacting scenes from the Oregon Trail. At least that's what I assume they're doing in these clothes."

7. Blue Ivy "I spent the holiday weekend in New York, mostly because I felt it was strategically necessary. I paid some calls to old friends (and frenemies) in order to do a little reconnaissance work on how Manhattan loyalties are falling in place in the Blue Ivy aftermath."

8. Matilda Ledger "I love how Matilda Ledger is wearing her helmet cocked jauntily to one side, as if she is Kate Middleton and the helmet is a Philip Treacy original."

9. Seraphina and Violet Affleck "This photograph was taken, I kid you not, on the way to Fashion Camp. Now, I don't know if this camp is an accredited institution or what their intervention success rate is, but in my opinion, this could not have come soon enough. I mean, finally."

10. Harper Beckham "I love a trip to Disneyland as much as the next girl, but going like a peasant (be-backpacked and everything) sounds like a nightmare. Cute dress, though, Harper. (I won't comment on the bare feet. I think you know how I feel about that by now, but just remember everything I've ever said on the subject and multiply that by about 100, since this is at a public theme park.)"

Do you have favorite entries from Suri's Burn Book?



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