10 Tom Pick-Up Lines For Aziz's New Book
By JACKIE WILLIS
August 23, 2013
Following his standup about dating in a texting world, Parks and Recreation star Aziz Ansari has received a $3.5 million deal to pen a book about relationships! The book, according to The Hollywood Reporter, will be published in September 2015, and "will provide an investigation into what Ansari argues is an entirely new era for singles, in which the basic issues facing a single person -- whom we meet, how we meet them, and what happens next -- have been radically altered by new technologies."
Given the funnyman's million-dollar news, here's 10 pick-up lines taken straight from his Parks and Recreation character Tom Haverford:
1. "Jessica Wicks! Hey, boo. Are you aging in reverse? 'Cause you look barely legal." (Season 2: Episode 21)
2. "Joan, listen to me. This harvest festival, it's gonna knock your socks off and when it does, I'm gonna be there to give you a foot massage. To completion." (Season 3: Episode 7)
3. "Boo-boo bear. It's one of several nicknames I've made up for you. And you can choose which one you like best, 'cause I want this to be a give and take. ...We have cookie tush, Winnie the Boo, lady presh-presh, Annberry sauce, Annie get your boo, Tommy's girl, Annie bananie…" (Season 4: Episode 15)
4. "Excuse me! Are there any strippers here? Former strippers? Non-dancers but you're feeling a little bit drunk?" (Season 3: Episode 9)
5. "Joan, let's make a pact, OK? If we're both still single in an hour, let's get married." (Season 3: Episode 5)
6. "Girl, you're more precious than Precious." (Season 2, Episode 20)
7. [Tom is playing with a stethoscope, using it on Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler)] "Oh my god. Your boobs are dead!" (Season 1, Episode 6)
8. "Yes I am a hunter, and it's you season." (Season 2, Episode 20)
9. "Hi, I'm Tom, I have a raccoon on my head." (Season 2, Episode 20)
10. "No, I don’t text her, 'It was nice meeting you.' I wait eight weeks and I text her, ‘What's crackin?'" (Season 2: Episode 13)
What do you think about Aziz's new book deal? Are you buying it?