Hello Kitty Revealed Not To Be A Cat and Apparently Nothing Is True Anymore

By
Sanrio

Well, this is just totally ridiculous.

University of Hawaii anthropologist Christine R. Yano, who is curating a Hello Kitty Exhibit at the Japanese American National Museum in Los Angeles, revealed to the LA Times that Sanrio, the company responsible for Hello Kitty, informed her that this cartoon cat-like creature:


IS NOT A CAT.


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"That's one correction Sanrio made for my script for the show," said Yano. "Hello Kitty is not a cat. She's a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She's never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it's called Charmmy Kitty."

Okay, BACKUP. Hello Kitty is not a cat, she's a little British girl named Kitty White, and she HAS A CAT?!

WHAT DOES TRUTH EVEN MEAN NOW??

Now sure, it may seem like Sanrio is splitting whiskers here. It may seem like it doesn't really matter what a character licensing company calls their main asset. But that misses the point. We grew up with this faux-line imposter only to realize off hand on the Internet years later that she's a person with parents, and a TWIN SISTER named Mimmy.


We need to go think about things for a little while.


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