In a new memoir, Jennifer Lopez opens up about her 2011 split from Marc Anthony, and also reveals she's felt abused in past relationships.
The newest issue of People magazine features an excerpt from her upcoming book, True Love -- out Nov. 4 --, which details the moment in 2011 when the singer says she realized she needed to divorce Anthony.
Lopez recalls feeling increasingly pressured to appear to have a perfect relationship, ultimately suffering a panic attack during a photo shoot in Los Angeles. That was when she decided to end things with Anthony after seven years of marriage. The couple wed in June 2004.
"As I sat there getting made up, my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I couldn't breathe... I became consumed with anxiety," the American Idol judge writes.
Her mother and long-time manager, Benny Medina, were with her during the dramatic experience, which J. Lo describes as, "one of those moments when you're so scared you can't even
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Lopez, 45, adds that mid-panic attack she looked at Benny and her mother and exclaimed, "I don't think I can be with Marc anymore," before bursting into tears.
The couple, who are parents to 6-year-old twins Max and Esme, announced their divorce one month later.
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Lopez also reveals feeling emotionally abused in past relationships, though she never says in the book who the abuser was.
"I've never gotten a black eye or a busted lip, but I've felt abused in one way or another: mentally, emotionally, verbally," she writes. "I know what it feels like for your soul
to be diminished by the way your loved one is treating you."
Jennifer is currently shooting the newest season of American Idol, set to premiere in January 14, 2015.