All the Products We're Sad We Never Bought From SkyMall (and Now Never Will)

Published
SkyMall
We never thought this day would come. True, we’ve never actually bought any thing from SkyMall. And true, we don’t know anyone else who has ever bought anything from SkyMall. But we’ve definitely joked about buying that robotic kitty litter box while flipping through the catalogue (until the flight attendant approved the use of large electronics or the drink cart came around).
But SkyMall has filed for bankruptcy, the first step in what could ultimately be their demise. “With the increased use of electronic devices on planes, fewer people browsed the SkyMall in-flight catalog,” SkyMall’s CEO reasoned.
Which means we’ll never be able to think about buying these products for a second, then ultimately not buy them, but, boy, wouldn’t it be funny if we did?
1. This pillow with a hood that lets you listen to music while you sleep:
SkyMall
2. Whatever this is that lets you waterproof your iPad so you don’t accidentally throw it in the ocean while you’re also standing in the ocean, in a full suit:
SkyMall
3. A glow in the dark toilet seat:
SkyMall
4. This neck brace(?) to help you sleep sitting upright:
SkyMall
5. Men’s padded underwear, for the gentleman with less junk in his trunk:
SkyMall
6. This stress-relieving headset that won’t make you look crazy in the slightest:
SkyMall
7. A serenity pod for your cat:
SkyMall
8. A backpack that doubles as a scooter, for lazy fifth graders on the go:
SkyMall
9. This paper towel dispenser that doubles as a phone charger, which is presumably in your kitchen somewhere close to a wall outlet, where you could also plug in a phone charger:
SkyMall
10. This figurine of Obama as a...dragon? Demon? What is this?
SkyMall
11. Adult Plush Balls:
SkyMall
12. The pillow this man uses to sleep comfortable in any seat. Can you say the same?
SkyMall
13. A Roomba for your grill:
SkyMall
14. This life-size Zombie of Montclaire Moors statue that is “not for the faint of heart”:
SkyMall
15. Something to tan your feet while you work:
SkyMall
16. And this watch. That counts down the minutes until your death.
SkyMall
Worst of all, now all we’ll have to mindlessly peruse while the flight attendant is giving the mandatory safety speech is that in-flight magazine where someone already finished half the crossword puzzle or the actual safety brochure. No thanks.
Anyway, is this the sexiest Super Bowl commercial ever? Watch and decide!