Why David Beckham Shouldn't Be Embarrassed by His Super Bowl Ad--Or Think of Himself as Chubby

By
H&M

Dear David Beckham,

It’s me, longtime fan, first-time writer. I just wanted to address some comments you recently made about your Super Bowl ad and your unshapely body.

Let’s start with your supposed body issues created by your daughter Harper, who said she still loved you even though you were chubby.
First off, like Harper, I could never stop loving you. That’s just the honest truth.
Secondly, were you hunched over or had just eaten a really big burrito when this incident happened?! There’s nothing chubby or remotely fat about you! Just look at your recent H&M ad campaigns. There's last summer's.
H&M
Though, you did cover up in the 2015 one. We get it, you have to leave something to the imagination...
H&M
...Which brings me to the second issue at hand: This supposed embarrassment over your Super Bowl ad. Apparently you had to leave the room when the spot came on the TV because you didn’t want to watch your friends watch you run around in your underwear. I mean, have you even see your ad?! 

I VOLUNTEER to be that friend that you watch watching you run around in your underwear! 

Last year’s ad presented your best ass-et.

H&M
Well, there were (are) many to choose from.
H&M

And you did say so yourself that “it went down well.” (For the record: it was very smooth.) Besides, when you consider how people reacted to the 2012 spot there should have been no hestiation.

(On that note, let’s roll that footage.)

How could you not appreciate your sculpted body perched up on a pedestal like an Adonis waiting to be worshiped and kissed at the feet? 
H&M
Though, you deprived us of this when you released your 2013 campaign adafter the Super Bowl. 
H&M

But. I. Digress. 

So Mr. Beckham, David Becks -- if I may -- do not feel any embarrassment over your Super Bowl ad or your finely sculpted body. There are no complaints here.

xoxo,

Your friends at ETonline