This Is What It's Like to Work in a Real Irish Pub in Ireland on St. Patrick's Day

by John Boone 2:37 PM PDT, March 17, 2015
Photo: Getty Images

Spoiler alert: It sounds bloody insane.

“Yes it's St. Patrick’s day. Yes I own and run a pub here in Dublin,” Reddit user bombidol explained in the intro to his AMA (Ask Me Anything). “It's 11:45am and the streets are already busy.”

Bombidol owns The Thomas House in Dublin and says St. Paddy’s Day is “one of our busiest days of the year.” Which seems like an understatement. “The city will pretty much be distorted and rebut tonight,” he writes.

PHOTOS: Check out how Kate Middleton is celebrating St. Patrick’s Day!

Here is every question you could ever want to know, answered:

How is different than any other day in Dublin? “It's absolute mayhem in the city for the last few days. There are hundreds of thousands of tourists descended upon the city to see the parade and celebrate their Irish heritage. Pretty much from midday on it turns into a massive drinking session. Like an all day New Year's Eve.”

As for the tourist factor, he guesstimates, “I’d say 60 percent [of patrons] are tourists.” And he’s all about it: “What's the harm? As a rule Americans are a pleasure to deal with in bars. Once they realize that here we pay on delivery of the beer. Tabs, etc. are a rarity.”

What are the top three beers served? Guinness, Founders All Day IPA (“The guy who owns Founders is Irish so of course we sell it!”), and Porterhouse Red Ale. “There are actually a few bars here doing green beer now too,” he adds. And whiskeys? Jameson, Powers, and Bushmills.

How much beer will your pub sell today? “Hopefully over a thousand liters.” That’s over 30,000 ounces of beer. (For comparison’s sake, on a regular day he says they sell, “Probably less than quarter [of] that if we are lucky.”)

NEWS: 9 reasons you should never, ever pinch someone on St. Paddy’s

Photo: Google

And now for the fun stuff...

The craziest thing that’s happened in your bar on St. Patrick's Day? “People who just stare into the void and are non responsive.” As for the craziest thing he’s ever seen in his bar ever? “Someone ate a lizard.” What day did THAT happen?!

How many people on average do you have to kick out on St. Patrick's day? “Roughly 10%.” And at Thomas House, they don’t have any bouncers, so if he wants anyone kicked out, he has to do it himself!

How many people will get so drunk that they won’t be able to get home on their own? “Most will be fine as in general people are transient on a day like today and go from pub to pub.” He says the bigger concern is, “watching the doors and making sure that people that are too drunk don't get in.”

And of course: How many liters of vomit are expected in-premises today? At first, he answered, “As few as possible hopefully.” An hour later he updated his answer to “All of them” and said someone cleans up vomit in the bathrooms “every ten minutes.”

Cheers to that!

Speaking of a good time, watch Kelly Ripa get drunk and high on Broad City: