Holly Madison: I Contemplated Suicide While Living at the Playboy Mansion

by Jessica Roy 2:38 PM PDT, March 22, 2015
Photo: Getty Images

Life as one of the "Girls Next Door" wasn't as glamorous as it looked on TV.

Holly Madison, a former Playboy Bunny and star of The Girls Next Door, is set to publish a memoir later this year. Madison revealed the cover for the book, Down the Rabbit Hole, on Instagram this week:

In a press release, publisher Harper Collins said the book looks at some of Madison's darker moments.

"...What seemed like a fairytale life inside the Playboy Mansion—including A-list celebrity parties and her own #1-rated television show for four years—quickly devolved into an oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies," the release stated.

"Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn't a dream at all—and quickly became her nightmare. After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide."

"In this shockingly candid and surprisingly moving memoir, this thoughtful and introspective woman opens up about life inside the Mansion, the drugs, the sex, the abuse, the infamous parties, and her real behind-the-scenes life with Bridget, Kendra, and, of course, Mr. Playboy himself."

The Girls Next Door was a reality show on E! that ran from 2005 to 2010. It followed Madison and fellow playmates Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt.

NEWS: Holly Madison is a Mom!

Today, 35-year-old Madison is married to self-proclaimed "experience creator" Pasquale Rotella. Their daughter, Rainbow Aurora, turned 2 years old on March 5. Former co-star Wilkinson has also moved on since the show's end: She's married to Hank Baskett and mom to two kids: Hank, 4, and Alijah, 10 months.

As for their joint boss/ex-boyfriend, Hugh Hefner married Crystal Harris (another Playboy Bunny) in 2012. Here's how they celebrated: