New 'Harry Potter' Fan Theory Suggests Maybe the Dursleys Weren't So Bad After All

by Alex Ungerman 4:12 PM PDT, April 24, 2015
Photo: Warner Bros.

This is blasphemy.

Three things we know to be true about the Harry Potter world: The Malfoys are the worst, and Lord Voldemort is the worst, but the Dursleys are the absolute WORST.


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They are the Muggle family who Harry grew up with after his parents were murdered. They had him sleep in a closet under a staircase, and basically made his life a living Hell.

But a new fan theory posted to Tumblr attempts to explain why the family of three was so irredeemably awful to the young Wizard, and while it pains us to admit this, it's pretty compelling.

Basically, the idea is that horcruxes are bad.

Photo: Tumblr

And, as we saw, prolonged exposure to them can cause people to become pretty awful.

Photo: Tumblr

And since Harry is a horcrux (thanks a lot, Voldemort) the Dursleys were basically doomed from the start.

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"The point is," writes the Tumblr user, "the Dursleys were just minding their own business when a horcrux was dumped on their doorstep. For the next decade it proceeded to warp their minds, turning them from your garden variety insufferable human beings into horrible, heartless monsters."

Photo: Tumblr

Personally, we're not convinced. While the horcrux thing does seem to be somewhat of a plot hole, why weren't the Weasley's completely awful to Harry when he was in their care? Not to mention every person he interacted with at Hogwarts, who -- with respect to the fact that the great good vs. evil battle he was involve in descended the institution into total chaos -- was relatively cool to him.

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Well most people at least.

(To be fair, Snape had his own things going on, which, if you have 14 minutes to sob uncontrollably you can watch in chronological order here.)

The fan who posted the theory even admits it is all satire, writing, "Allow me to state for the record that the above description was intended to be read as satire. I do not honestly believe Harry is responsible for the abuse he suffered, nor do I seriously consider the Dursleys to be noble and virtuous heroes."

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What do you think? Are the Dursley's in fact truly awful?

Or are they just Muggles with struggles?

Whether or not the Dursleys were the worst (they were), young Daniel Radcliffe was completely adorable. Watch ET's first-ever Harry Potter set visit below.