"Hold on to your lily-white butts!"
At the White House Correspondents' Dinner Saturday night, President Obama did what a lot of people have been wishing he'd do for a long time: He brought on his "anger translator," Luther, played by Keegan-Michael Key from Comedy Central's Key & Peele.
Luther's appearance followed Obama's regular remarks, which featured what he called "something that rhymes with 'bucket list.'"
"As always, I want to close on a more serious note," Obama said toward the end. "You know, I often joke about tensions between me and the press, but honestly, what they say doesn’t bother me. I understand we’ve got an adversarial system. I’m a mellow sort of guy. And that’s why I invited Luther, my anger translator, to join me here tonight."
Huge applause followed as "Luther" came on stage and shouted, "Hold on to your lily-white butts!"
Here are a few of their best lines:
On the importance of the press
Obama: "Despite our differences, we count on the press to shed light on the most important issues of the day."
Luther: "And we can count on Fox News to terrify old white people with some nonsense! 'Sharia law is coming to Cleveland, run for the damn hills!' Y'alls ridiculous! … Oh, and CNN, thank you so much for the wall-to-wall Ebola coverage. For two whole weeks, we were one step away from The Walking Dead. And then y’all got up and just moved on to the next thing. That was awesome. Oh, and by the way, just, if you haven’t noticed, you don’t have Ebola!"
On "Obama's Katrina"
Luther: "Y’all remember when I had that big old hole in the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico, and then I plugged it? Remember that? Which 'Obama’s Katrina' was that one? Was that 19, or was it 20, because I can’t remember. I can't remember."
On political donations
Obama: "Hillary will have to raise huge sums of money as well."
Luther: "Awwwww yeah. She gonna get that money. She gonna get ALL the money. KHALEESI IS COMIN' TO WESTEROS! So WATCH OUT! WOO!"
On Obama's third term (or lack thereof)
Obama: "The non-stop focus on billionaire donors creates real problems for our democracy."
Luther: "And that's why we're running for a third term!"
Obama: "-No. No. We're not."
Luther: "We're not?"
Luther: "Yeah! Who the hell said that!"
At the end of the anger translation, Obama got a little worked up about climate change.
Obama: "I mean, look at what's happening right now. Every serious scientist says we need to act. The Pentagon says it's a national security risk. Miami floods on a sunny day and instead of doing anything about it, we've got elected officials throwing snowballs in the Senate. … It is crazy! What about our kids? What kind of stupid, short-sided irresponsible bull-"
Luther: "-Whoa whoa whoa! Whoa! Ay!"
Luther: "All due respect sir, you don't need an anger translator. You need counseling. … (talking to Michelle Obama) He crazy."
Watch the whole thing here: