We should really have seen this coming.
After all the insanity that has followed the massive 30+ million Ashley Madison user data leak
, outing high profile people, including disgraced former 19 Kids and Counting
star Josh Duggar
, Christian YouTube star, Sam Rader
, and reportedly even Snooki's husband
, Jionni LaValle (although she has come forward to slam those rumors), OF COURSE a TV show inspired by the affair-oriented website is in the works, according to The Hollywood Reporter
"We are in the early stages of developing a scripted series inspired by the site which, given the events from the past week, make the themes explored more timely," said Marblemedia’s co-CEO Matt Hornburg of the project, which is tentatively called Thank You Ashley Madison, and is being produced by OutEast Entertainment.
"Anytime 30 million people are doing anything, it becomes worthy of a real discussion," said OutEast producer, Courtney Hazlett, of the project.
And although Ashley Madison was founded by a man (because of course it was), the show will apparently avoid that "stereotypical" route, and center the show on a mother who founds a website to help support her family.
So if we understand this correctly, the star of the new project might be something of a Walter White for cheaters, and while we could all use a little more Breaking Bad in our lives, we have to admit, on paper, this just doesn't seem like the most interesting way to go!
And since we're really trying not to be naysayers about this whole TV show-capitalizing-on-heartbreak-and-ruined families thing, we have a few alternative pitches for the show, for anyone interested.
1. Dexter meets How to Get Away With Murder.
A killer (maybe played by Viola Davis, why not) who seeks to avenge the pieces of their own shattered relationship by diving into the seedy, seedy underworld of this site.
2. Her meets Catfish meets so, so, sad.
Let's really call out the site allegedly creating fake female profiles
to not appear to have a reported 70% male user base
by having a guy fall in love with his pretend robot mistress. Hell, we can even get Joaquin Phoenix in to cheat on his Scarlett Johannson OS, and you could even get Catfish
host Nev Schulman in there too. We (can't legally) guarantee he'd be into it.
3. 19 Affairs and Counting.
Because really, the spectacular fall of Josh Duggar is what really piqued national interest in this website to begin with.
4. The Bachelorette meets Unreal meets the decline of our societal moral fabric.
A reality show where contestants vie for the clandestine affection of their Princess/Prince Charming-But-Also-a-Cheater.
5. Ballers meets Ballers.
Just have Dwayne Johnson's pro-athlete clients mention the site in passing.
This show is already complete with all the heartbreak, suspense, and betrayal you need. Honestly, you could probably have basically the same cast.
There you go, Hollywoood! Do with that what you will.
No word on if/when the Ashley Madison show is going to make it to air, but our guess is there's about 30 million people who really hope it doesn't.