Girl, what happens when you run out of people to welcome to the stage?
After Taylor Swift brought Julia Roberts and Joan Baez onstage -- together? -- during her 1989 World Tour, we knew her sold-out, record-breaking five-night stint in L.A. would be a certifiable who’s who of “Who?! What?! Why?!"
The limitless possibilities even inspired a hilarious meme. Sadly, neither Gigi Hadid nor the Blair Witch walked the runway in Los Angeles, but there were some rather perplexing choices.
Below, all of Taylor's tour guests, ranked from “OK, that makes sense” to “WHAT IS HAPPENING":
1. Selena Gomez
She’s one of Taylor's best friends and an actual, IRL member of Swift’s #squad. We knew Selena was going to appear; it was just a matter of when. Turns out: Taylor saved the best (friend) for the last night.
2. Justin Timberlake
Taylor and J.T. are actually friends in real-life too. He attended her 25th birthday, along with Beyoncé and Jay Z. Later that week, Taylor and Bey were seen dancing together at Justin’s concert. Which is all to say: Why didn’t Taylor welcome Beyoncé to the stage?!?
3. Ryan Tedder
He produced “Welcome to New York” and “I Know Places” off 1989, sooo.
4. Ellen DeGeneres
Taylor has to have been on Ellen’s show like a million times already, right?
5. Kobe Bryant
Kobe isn’t exactly, um, on brand for Taylor, but this more or less makes sense, just because our most famous Laker was used as an L.A. welcome wagon. It would be like if she were in Chicago and Michael Jordan welcomed her. (The only sports references we know are from the ‘90s.)
6. Natalie Maines
A long time ago, before you tweens had Kik and landscape Instagrams, Taylor Swift was actually a country singer. So when she said, "I can safely and honestly say I would not be a musician if it had not been for this artist. I would not have wanted to be a country artist,” we’re inclined to believe her. Where were the rest of the Dixie Chicks though?
7. Lisa Kudrow
After the “???” reaction Taylor got to her first Friends cameo (see: No. 13), we’re pretty sure she was just trolling us by bringing out “Phoebe Buffay,” a girl who has “only ever played in coffee houses before.” Taylor’s probably a Friends fan though. Everyone who grew up in the ‘90s was.
8. Uzo Aduba
The Orange Is the New Black actress seemed more random the first time, when she catwalked during “Style” among Taylor’s Victoria’s Secret model squad. (That’s right, Uzo is a two-time 1989 World Tour-er.) At the time, Taylor tweeted that Uzo “provoked one of the loudest screams from the crowd I've EVER heard. I just love herrrrr.” Seeing her again was a delight, but the choice to sing together -- to “White Horse”? Of all songs? -- was still puzzling.
9. Alanis Morissette
We don’t know how or why it happened, but we loved every second of it. (We just wish that Taylor had sang some of the edgier parts of “You Oughta Know.” Still, an F-word at a Taylor Swift show -- who’d have thought?)
10. John Legend
This one apparently wasn’t even planned: "I found out John and Chrissy were coming 30 minutes before I went on and called Chrissy and asked her if John would perform,” Swift told the crowd. Which begs the bigger question: Taylor and Chrissy Teigen are friends??
11. Beck and St. Vincent
The only connection we can think of here is Kanye stormed the stage when Beck won the Album of the Year over Beyoncé at the Grammys, but later listened to Beck’s music and said it was “kinda good,” and now Kanye and Taylor are (kind of?) pals, and...We’re literally just playing “Six Degrees of Taylor Swift,” at this point.
As for St. Vincent, she is -- or was -- dating Taylor's bestie Cara Delevingne.
12. Mary J. Blige
No idea. We love Mary J. Blige -- everyone loves Mary J. Blige -- but no idea.
13. Sean O’Pry, Chris Rock, and Matt LeBlanc
We just-- How did this-- Why did this-- Sean O’Pry was in Taylor’s “Blank Space” video, so we understand why he was there. But CHRIS ROCK? And MATT LEBLANC? And why were they grouped together? We just don’t know.
Anyway, find out how Taylor’s tour is helping her achieve world domination:
- Taylor Swift
- Selena Gomez
- Lisa Kudrow
- Kobe Bryant
- Justin Timberlake
- John Legend
- Ellen Degeneres
- Chrissy Teigen
- Alanis Morissette