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Sophia Bush Pens Heartfelt Tribute to Late Ex-Boyfriend Dan Fredinburg on His Birthday

by Emily Krauser 4:35 PM PDT, September 09, 2015
Photo: Getty Images

Sophia Bush commemorated the birthday of her late ex-boyfriend, Dan Fredinburg, with a heartbreakingly sweet note.

The Chicago P.D. star penned the meaningful message on Tuesday, which would have been Fredinburg's 34th birthday. The Google executive died of a head injury in August after getting caught in an avalanche on Mt. Everest.

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"I still don't know what the words are," Bush wrote. "Magic. Friendship. Memories. Consciousness. Dimensions. Infinite. Break. Dance. Live. Believe. Do. So many. None are the one. They're puzzle pieces but not the whole picture. What I do know is that you are missed. That you are still here. That you changed us, inspired us, pushed us, and guided us. What I do know is that I saw you this weekend, deep in the desert, many times."

The 33-year-old actress spent the weekend at Burning Man in Nevada's Black Rock Desert, where she and friends swapped stories about Fredinburg, screamed his name and left photos and prayer flags across the festival’s temporary community. Bush even met a stranger named Dan who she felt embodied her ex's spirit. "The girls and I all laughed aloud, got misty eyed, & turned to go, knowing you'd been saying hello," she said.

Bush also declared Sept. 8 the first #LiveDanDay. "I love you my friend," Bush continued. "I'm grateful for every memory. I'm grateful that we had a friendship that defied context, & a connection that defies physical boundaries even now. Your squad reps you hard, dear one. We live bigger because of you. We will keep writing your name in the sand & dancing in the dust to honor it."

She ended her letter with a call to action that both celebrated and honored Fredinburg, saying, "To all of you out there who need a little inspiring, take it from Dan. Live big."

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I still don't know what the words are. Magic. Friendship. Memories. Consciousness. Dimensions. Infinite. Break. Dance. Live. Believe. Do. So many. None are the one. They're puzzle pieces but not the whole picture. What I do know is that you are missed. That you are still here. That you changed us, inspired us, pushed us, and guided us. What I do know is that I saw you this weekend, deep in the desert, many times. I saw a man in spandex & a Viking hat, near the ashes of the wooden man that burned on the playa the night before. I turned to the Minion gals, pointing, & said "hey Viking I see you!" & pulled up to the man to take a photo of the back of his hat, under the giant bird-shaped cloud that had followed us around all day. His friend noticed me & said, "he'll kiss you if you ask him," and I laughed and thanked him, but passed, explaining that I just wanted to take a photo of his hat. The friend said, "Hey Dan, this girl wants to take a pic of your hat!" "Of course your name is Dan," I said, & he turned toward me on his bike, which of course had a Minion toy strapped to the front of it. The girls and I all laughed aloud, got misty eyed, & turned to go, knowing you'd been saying hello. It happened all weekend. We told stories. We screamed your name to the sky & scribbled it all over the temple & left your photos & prayer flags & glitter everywhere. We screamed "I love you!!" as it burned & a chorus of "I love yous" began echoing among the tens of thousands of people watching, bouncing all over the playa as it had when I once stood watching that structure burn with you & someone else screamed the same thing for someone who had most likely meant to them what you mean to us. So today, on your birthday, our first #LiveDanDay, I'll say it again. I love you my friend. I'm grateful for every memory. I'm grateful that we had a friendship that defied context, & a connection that defies physical boundaries even now. Your squad reps you hard, dear one. We live bigger because of you. We will keep writing your name in the sand & dancing in the dust to honor it. To all of you out there who need a little inspiring, take it from Dan. Live big. 👊🏼 #LiveDanDay15

A photo posted by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on

The former One Tree Hill star dated Fredinburg for 10 months before their split in August 2014. The two remained close after their breakup, and Bush recently told Health magazine that her ex's death was devastating.

"Losing one of my best friends a few months ago shattered me. There were days I felt like my body had been turned inside out," she said. "I felt like my heart was on the outside of my body and everyone who came near me was stabbing me."

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