If you thought Lady Gaga looked drop-dead gorgeous at the American Horror Story: Hotel premiere, then you're in for a terrifying treat.
The fifth -- and arguably best! -- season of Ryan Murphy's beloved anthology series bows tonight, and we've got six things you need to know about Lady Gaga's gory, gruesome and horrifyingly sexy debut as The Countess of Hotel Cortez.
1. The Countess Has a Craving: The Cortez's leading lady has an intense thirst that cannot be quenched by cocaine and sex.(Although she certainly has plenty of both!) Instead, The Countess craves blood -- straight from the vein, preferably -- but she doesn't need fangs to tear into the throats of her unsuspecting victims. In later episodes, we'll discover the true secrets behind this vixen's vampire tendencies, but for now, just get ready for a whole lot of gratuitous and gory blood-soaked scenes.
2. An Erotic Introduction: We cannot stress this enough: Lady Gaga's first scene -- which is a wordless six-minute sexcapade -- is the most intense and sexually raw introduction we've ever seen on a TV show. We all know that Ryan Murphy is hell-bent on pushing boundaries, but we've never seen him go this far before, so be prepared to be both turned on and horrified at the same time.
3. She Bares It All: Well, maybe not necessarily all, but it sure as hell is close! Hotel has pushed the FCC censors as far as they will possibly go for a late-night cable drama and Gaga's getup during her unbelievably sexy foursome leaves very little to the imagination. Three words: diamond-encrusted pasties.
4. Her Partner in Crime: Matt Bomer's Donovan, a wealthy actor with some serious mommy issues, is the first of The Countess' lovers that we'll meet. (The bisexual babe will also have relationships with Angela Bassett's Ramona and Cheyenne Jackson's Will Drake.) Despite The Countess' plethora of sexual partners, she is enamored with Donovan's piercing blue eyes -- which, we'll admit, are somehow made even sexier by smudged eyeliner -- and Disney prince-worthy jawline.
5. The Fashion Is Impeccable: Whether you love her, hate her, or are scared to death of her -- one thing is for sure: The Countess' closet is absolutely flawless. Each of her gowns looks like they were snatched straight off of a couture runway, (which they probably were,) and her signature gloves, complete with razor-sharp claws, are both beautiful and terrifying.
6. Mother Monster Comes to Life: To top it all off, Lady Gaga's small screen alter ego comes with a twisted nod to her diehard music fans. The Countess truly embodies the term Mother Monster thanks to her desire to collect fair-haired children and hide them away deep into the secret rooms of The Cortez.
Catch the 90 minute premiere of American Horror Story: Hotel tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT on FX.