Travis Barker is really putting it all out there.
The Blink-182 drummer gets shockingly candid in his new memoir, Can I Say
, and opened up about the nitty gritty details in a new interview withBillboard
"I grew up losing my mom at a young age, being shot at at a young age. Doing lots of drugs," he said. "It wasn't until when I had my kids -- everything changed. Then it was like, 'Oh my gosh, what did I put in my body? What did I do that for?'"
Barker said that parenting his two children with ex-wife Shanna Moakler -- Landon, 12, and Alabama, 9 -- made continuing his rock and roll lifestyle increasing difficult. "I loved being a father. I want to stay home with my kids, but I'm a musician, and I have to tour. That's how I make money. It was this push and pull, and then just to medicate myself to leave," he admitted. "I remember I used to be in my room. It'd be like 6 in the morning, and I'd be like, 'I have to leave for Europe tomorrow.' ... My breakfast was four blunts, four Vicodin, one Valium, one Oxycodone. 'Cause that was the only way I could leave the house. I had to medicate myself before I could even think about getting in the car. It was tough."
Things came to a head in 2004, when Barker was in Australia with his band and, he says, hit rock bottom.
"I was so addicted to Oxycodone, and I had a security that would actually sleep during the day and then stay up at night to make sure I was breathing. That was pretty pathetic. My bones were so brittle from so much painkiller use," he said. "I had this moment when I got to Europe for that tour where I really identified myself as a dumpster. And I wasn't proud. I was scared. I had to call [Blink-182 member] Mark [Hoppus] and say, 'Hey, man. I'm like borderline suicidal. I'm going crazy. I need to go home.' Like not even one show had started. I'd been there two days. I hadn't slept one day. It was like naw, man. I need to go home and get my head right. So I think that was the most disappointing time."
Today, Barker says he’s completely sober from drugs. After quitting hard drugs, by his estimation, eight years ago, Barker says that he also swore off marijuana four years ago when doctors found pre-cancerous cells in his throat. "I was meant to be sober, man. I had done my time," he said.
Today, Barker seems to be happier than ever and, just this month, began a new romantic relationship with Rita Ora
. A rep for Barker confirmed the pairing to ET, while a source said that, "They're really into each other." Barker even shared this sweet snap of his new girlfriend on Instagram.
The pair was also spotted enjoying a night out with Barker's kids
at Knott's Scary Farm's Halloween Horror Nights two weeks ago. According to an onlooker, Barker and Ora looked to be "having a great time" and were in "good spirits" throughout the evening.
Get the scoop on how they met in the video below.