Anna Duggar isn't giving up on her marriage just yet.
During the second episode of TLC's Jill and Jessa: Counting On, Anna tearfully admitted that she knew "long before it hit the press" that her husband had been inappropriate with five underage girls. She recalled that Josh was "very detailed and very honest" about the incident when he first met her parents in Arkansas, but once the media got hold of the story, it "was like ripping open an old wound."
However, learning of Josh's cheating
came as a total shock. "It felt like a bad dream," the 27-year-old said to camera
. "I think it is such a betrayal for a spouse to go through what we're walking through. It was hard. It was hard to realize it was such a public thing."
"That loyalty was broken," she added, fighting back tears. "How could this happen in my marriage? Josh is my first love. He's my one and only."
Anna said that she didn't react on her emotions because that would have turned the situation from "a mess into a disaster."
When asked if she plans on staying with her husband, the former 19 Kids and Counting star revealed that she's still fighting for her marriage. "In my heart, when I got married, I vowed to God first and then to Joshua, 'For better or for worse. 'Til death do we part,'" she said. "I pray that through all of this that I would be an extension of God's love to Joshua, that I would love him and forgive him and wait patiently and allow God to work through our hearts."
She continued, "My prayer and my heart's desire is for our marriage to be restored."
Anna and her children have moved into the Duggars' home while Josh is away, and her sister-in-laws, Jana and Joy-Anna, are thrilled to have them. "I'm really amazed by the strength that God has given Anna," Joy-Anna said. "And just how she's going through all of this and having a good attitude about it all even though it's so hard and you know it hurts really bad."