“Shut up, you disgusting, pill-popping, sexual deviant scum.”
He’s baaaaaaaaack. Those were the first words out of Golden Globes host Ricky Gervais’s mouth as he took the stage after three years away. “I want to do this monologue and then go into hiding. Not even Sean Penn will find me,” he joked. “Snitch.”
For what it’s worth: The comedian gave us fair warning that this was coming! On the red carpet, he told ET that, though he was “not gonna go out and try to ruin anyone’s night,” he would be more of a target than El Chapo once the show was over.
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So, who was the biggest “victim” in Gervais’s monologue? Caitlyn Jenner.
“I’m going to be nice tonight. I’ve changed,” he joked about his notoriously nasty reputation. “Not as much as Bruce Jenner, obviously. Now Caitlyn Jenner, of course."
“What a year she’s had! She became a role model for trans people everywhere, showing great bravery in breaking down barriers and destroying stereotypes. She didn’t do a lot for women drivers, but--" Gervais shrugged. “You can’t have everything.”
A source tells ET that when Gervais practiced the jokes during rehearsals, Dick Clark and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association were “nervous” how the quips would play. It’s safe to say that Jamie Lee Curtis got a chuckle out of it!
Transitioning from trans joke to trans joke, Gervais targeted Jeffrey Tambor’s role on Transparent. “Every day he has to put on the women’s clothes and the hair and the makeup and let people film it. That takes balls,” he explained.
“I don’t know how he does it, I’ve seen his balls -- they’re huge and long,” he cracked. “I don’t know if he tucks them in his bra or does that thing where he pushes them out the back and lets them hang like a bulldog.
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Here were a few more of his most controversial jokes:
--“Spotlight has been nominated. The Catholic church, furious about the film, as it exposes that five percent of all their priests have repeatedly molested children and been allowed to continue to work without punishment. Roman Polanski called it the best date movie ever.”
--“Jennifer Lawrence made the news when she demanded equal pay for women in Hollywood and she received overwhelming support from people everywhere. There were marches on the street with nurses and factory workers saying, ‘How the hell can a 25-year-old live on $52 million?’”
--“Joking aside, of course women should be paid the same as men for doing the same job. I’d like to say now that I’m getting paid exactly the same as Tina and Amy did last year. I know there was two of them, but it’s not my fault if they want to share the money, is it? That’s their stupid fault!”
--“All-female remakes are the big thing. There’s a female remake of Ghostbusters. There’s going to be a female remake of Ocean’s 11. This is brilliant for the studios, because they get guaranteed box office results and they don’t have to spend too much money on the cast.”
Speaking of the Ghostbusters reboot, director Paul Feig gave ET an update on the film on the Golden Globes red carpet: