Chris Brown Gets Emotional in New Documentary Trailer, Talks Assault on Rihanna: 'I Felt Like a F**king Monster'

by Jackie Willis 6:55 AM PDT, April 18, 2016
Playing Chris Brown Gets Emotional in New Documentary Trailer, Talks Assault on Rihanna: 'I Felt Like a F**king Monster'

Chris Brown gets pretty candid with his fans in the new documentary, Welcome to My Life.

In 2009, Brown was arrested in a domestic violence case, and subsequently charged with felony assault, after attacking his then-girlfriend Rihanna the night prior the GRAMMY Awards. Brown pled guilty, completed the court-mandated community service and was let off probation.

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"I felt like a f**king monster," Brown recalls, getting choked up as he speaks of his assault on Rihanna. The 26-year-old singer says he went from "America's Sweetheart to public enemy number one."

"That was the worst day of my life and probably his life," Brown's mother, Joyce Hawkins, adds. "I felt like I was going to lose my child."

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The R&B artist says he contemplated ending his own life. "I was thinking about suicide and everything else," he admits. "I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating. I just was getting high."

In addition to Brown's recollection of his troubled past, a number of musicians -- including Jennifer Lopez, Usher, Jamie Foxx, Rita Ora and DJ Khaled -- talk about the "Forever" singer's potential. "He definitely has his finger on the pulse of the sound," Lopez says.

DJ Khaled adds, "I knew he was going to be the next superstar the day I met him."

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Brown is adamant that he's not ready to give up on his love of music. "If there was ever a doubt in your mind that Chris Brown was done, he was finished, I wouldn't bet on it," he insists.

Welcome to My Life has yet to get a release date.

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In 2014, Brown opened up to ET's Kevin Frazier, saying he'd forgiven himself for past transgressions. "You can't beat yourself up over the years," he said. "Because it'll just eat at you and you'll be stuck in the past. And for me, I just learned to be a more humble individual and more of a conscious person."

As for where he sees himself in the future, Brown told ET at the time that he wants to be "on top" and "higher than the clouds."