Eva Amurri Martino is getting candid about a traumatic experience that happened shortly after her son was born.
In a new blog post shared on her website, HappilyEvaAfter.com
, the 31-year-old actress is hoping to come to terms with a frightening incident that occurred five weeks after the birth of her son, Major James Martino.
"I'm in an emotionally bad place, for reasons I will explain," the daughter of actress Susan Sarandon wrote. "As my husband [Kyle] put so well a couple of days ago, sometimes fighting emotion is like quicksand -- the more you fight, the more it grabs you until eventually it pulls you under. Here is my effort to unclutch, to share and move forward."
Martino -- also mother to 2-year-old daughter, Marlowe -- continued to detail what happened a couple of days after Thanksgiving, when their night nurse fell asleep while holding Major and dropped him, cracking his head on the hardwood floor. "Kyle and I were sleeping at the time and were awoken by the sound of his head hitting the floor, and then hysterical piercing screams," she revealed.
The Mothers and Daughters star went on to explain the aftermath of the trauma: "He suffered a fractured skull and bleeding on his brain, and was transported by ambulance to Yale Medical Center where I spent two harrowing days with him to receive emergency care and further testing. To say these were the most traumatic and anxious two days of my life is an understatement."
Though Martino's son suffered some skull displacement and localized bleeding, MRIs showed no brain damage. He was given "as excellent of a prognosis" as the couple could have hoped for, continuing to make a full recovery.
But the actress and blogger is far from recovered following the traumatic incident. "The guilt I bore in the days and weeks after this accident was damaging. I finally made peace with the fact that this freak accident could not have been avoided by me," Martino added, also stating that while she forgives the night nurse, she is no longer working for the family. "It's nearly impossible for me to trust anyone but myself to take care of Major now. Hearing [him] cry immediately triggers my memories and instigates an immediate panic attack. My appetite has decreased to nothing, and my milk supply goes up and down depending on the stresses of the day."
She continued, "My instinct tells me that I have some form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, possibly linked to some form of Postpartum Depression."
Martino then resolved to take the next couple of weeks off to focus on her family and get back on her feet, vowing to work with a therapist and develop better coping mechanisms. She also added that support and kind words from family, friends have fans have helped tremendously, writing, "Even when you didn't know that I needed help, you all helped me so much."