The 51-year-old actor appeared on Watch What Happens Live! on Wednesday, when he got candid about a number of his female co-stars over the years. When host Andy Cohen asked him to rank a few of his leading ladies from favorite to least favorite -- including Selma Blair, Lindsay Lohan, Jenny McCarthy and Heather Locklear -- Sheen was only fond of his Spin City co-star.
"Heather," Sheen quickly replied. "And then Heather."
After Cohen noted that he still had McCarthy, Lohan, and Blair to rank, Sheen paid Lohan a reluctant compliment.
"Lindsay's a trip," he noted. "She's work, but she's cool. She's fun to look at."
But he was clearly was not a fan of McCarthy or Blair.
"I would like to kind of mash those two up together and just kick 'em to the curb, they deserve each other," he said bluntly.
Sheen also dissed his Ferris Bueller's Day Off co-star, Jennifer Grey. After Cohen played footage of their 1986 film, Sheen cracked, "You've never seen a nose job ruin a career before Jennifer Grey's."
The former Two and a Half Men star later got candid about his legendary exploits, admitting he's spent more than $20,000 at a strip club in one night. Still, Sheen got serious when asked about what the biggest misconception about himself is.
"That I'm bipolar or insane -- I'm actually quite thoughtful and often times rooted in all things logical," he said.
"Not bad for a sick guy, right?" he joked.
"The day I was diagnosed, I immediately wanted to eat a bullet," he admitted. "But my mom was there. I wouldn't do that in front of her, or let her find me to clean up that mess."
"But then, something else came over me," he continued. "They gave me a handful of pills and said, 'You can go home now, and you're going to live.' If I was there with, you know, brain cancer or a stomach thing, or some meningitis, we wouldn't be sitting here right now."