If you believe the tabloid rumors that Brad Pitt has struck up a serious romantic relationship with Kate Hudson, Kate's brother Oliver wants you to know that's ridiculous.
The Nashville star came across a copy of Star magazine at a grocery store on Friday and decided to have some sarcastic fun on Instagram, posting a photo of the tabloid which featured an article claiming that Brad had even moved into Kate's home.
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"Yeah and it's been hell!! He's messy as s**t! He drinks out of the f**king carton and leaves the door open when he's taking a dump!! And this is when he's at MY house!!!" Oliver captioned the pic. "He's already calling me brother and has driven a wedge between myself and my real brother Wyatt who now won't speak to me!"
The Scream Queens actor went on to joke that Brad "insists my kids call him uncle B" and that the Ocean's Eleven star "lost my youngest at the Santa Monica pier for 2 days.. thank god for amber alert!"
Oliver went on to say that his mom, actress Goldie Hawn, has been "overtly flirting with him!"
"She's wearing these little nighties around the house now?! But ALL DAY!! Like at 3pm!" he wrote. "And Pa just keeps saying 'All right!! It's Brad Pitt!!'"
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Rumors surrounding Kate and Brad -- who have not been photographed hanging out or spending time together -- began swirling months in the months following the actor's divorce from Angelina Jolie in September.
While Hudson doesn't seem to actually be spending any time with the Allied star, she has been getting her workout on -- most recently alongside James Corden in an incredibly adorable installment of "Toddlerography" on The Late Late Show last week. Check out the video below to see more.