On this week’s episode of The Bachelor, Raven Gates made a confession right before the famous Fantasy Suites (the one-on-one nights when the Bachelor or Bachelorette usually has sex with their remaining contestants).
No, Raven didn’t confess that she is a virgin, which has happened on The Bachelor before -- the 25-year-old boutique owner from Arkansas shared she was intimate with a guy she dated for two years. What she then confessed is arguably even more controversial.
The Arkansas native looked straight to camera and said: “I’ve never had an orgasm before.”
“It’s really taboo to discuss, but it’s important,” she continued. “Maybe I haven’t before with my last person because I really didn’t trust him. You just have to trust someone to be able to go there.”
Preach, Raven! These are the reality show moments that help reality TV live up to its name. Yes, this is The Bachelor, a show on which a first date often involves helicopters, hot tubs and being hand-picked from a gaggle of other potential mates. In other words, it’s not normal. But Raven just opened up about something that is normal, yet is also something that many women don’t feel comfortable admitting or discussing.
So, what can we learn from Raven’s reveal?
Definitive research on how many women orgasm during sex is hard to find, but Psychology Today
estimates that the figure ranges from 50 to 70 percent. So, Raven is not alone. (Also, that’s compared to about 95 percent of men.) And men and women may have different comfort levels when it comes to discussing how often they orgasm. According to research from Indiana University
, 85 percent of men said their female partner experienced an orgasm during their most recent sexual encounter, but only 64 percent of women reported having an orgasm.
Bottom line: a network TV show is discussing the female orgasm. We’ll see if fantasy becomes reality next Monday night on ABC.