Ellie Goulding found herself with crippling anxiety upon first making it big on the music scene.
The 30-year-old British pop star
admits that upon gaining fame for her 2010 song, "Lights," she started to question her worth as a musician. "My new life as a pop star certainly wasn’t as glamorous as all my friends from home thought. Secretly, I was really struggling physically and emotionally," Goulding confides to well + good
. "I think part of what sparked my panic attacks was not feeling confident enough to believe in myself."
"I was scared I wasn’t as good of a singer as everyone thought I was," she adds. "And as the stakes grew, I was afraid of letting everyone, including myself, down."
Goulding even recalls being "paralyzed with nerves every time" she was to perform on television, especially when she was to take the stage at the GRAMMYs last year. The "Love Me Like You Do" singer did find a way to calm herself down. "I told myself that this was exactly where I was supposed to be and if other people believed in me, I had to start believing in myself," she says.
Goulding also started coping with her anxiety through exercise.
“I love that extra kick of adrenaline,” she says. “Keeping fit doesn’t mean spending hours at a gym; the key is to find a workout you really love. The more I started doing classes and also working out with my trainer, Faisal Abdalla, the better I felt about myself.”
That being said, Goulding is always learning new ways to manage her nerves. “It took time, but I’ve accepted that everyone feels nervous before they perform -- it’s not just me,” she explains. “And now that I believe in myself more, that confidence comes through, whether I’m working out, singing onstage, or just hanging out by myself at home.”