Charlie Sheen says, "I don't cook food, I will it."
In a new hilarious cooking show spoof courtesy of Funny or Die, Sheen takes his popular philosophies to the kitchen to cook up some "winning recipes." He says to camera, "Face it, I'm living the life of a rock star, Vatican assassin, and if you eat like me, you can be like me."
His meal consists of a salad made of only one tomato and a steak he throws on the grill that he says requires "moderate to intense observation." "Winners stalk and kill their own food without earthly weapons," the actor instructs.
After cooking up his meal, a cautionary message is read by Sheen who says, "Warning, the taste of Charlie Sheen has the potential to make your soul weep."