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If Alex O'Loughlin seems a bit frazzled or incoherent, it's because the Aussie hunk just became a new dad and is not getting much sleep -- and the Hawaii Five-O star doesn't mince words about the realities of fatherhood.

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"Why do people say congratulations when you have a child? It's awful," he says with amusing candor to ET Canada. "You don't sleep, you're covered in poop and vomit all the time."

Alex and girlfriend Malia Jones delivered their newborn son in late October, and in the video he reveals just what expectations he has for a kid named Lion.

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Also, watch the video to see how Alex also likes to "cuddle" up with Hawaii Five-O co-star Scott Caan!

"I'm comfortable with Scott on my shoulder, a bowl of popcorn, watching The Notebook," he jokes. "Pretty much that's a weekend in for me."