Viewers have already gotten an inside look at Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's latest marital woes in the couple's reality show True Tori, and the upcoming episode has even more candid relationship revelations.
When asked by a family friend why he cheated on Tori in behavior that could jeopardize his entire family life, he responded, "Because I didn't think that I would get caught." He adds: "I was drinking and using drugs. I was not dealing with things that happened to me in the past."
He also seemed to contradict a comment made in an earlier episode about the couple's sex life being less than perfect. "It's not like I was looking for sex or was horny or anything...[Tori] and I, our relationship and our sex life is solid."
Dean also alludes to his struggles with alcohol and drug abuse contributing to his unfaithfulness. "I have a brain that wants to kill me -- I have a brain that wants me dead. That's how the aloholic mind works and thinks. You have a couple cocktails, do a couple lines... Then cut to the sunrise, it just never works out that way."
He also proclaims an immediate "need to change," before losing it all. "I am on the verge of losing everything that means anything to me in this world -- my wife and my family."
Watch the clip to hear what Dean is most afraid of in his battle with addiction. True Tori, a Lifetime docu-series which delves into the aftermath of Dean's cheating scandal, airs Tuesdays at 10 p.m.