Happy 10th anniversary to Lost. Now can we bitch about something?
Actually, we have ten somethings we need to vent about — yes, still. Exactly 10 years to the day after the show first premiere on September 22, 2004. Here’s one thing we’re not going to complain about: the ending. Everyone was happy. That was nice. We liked it. Whatever. Now the bitching:
1. They Were Dead All Along! Well, they weren’t. They were only dead (all along) for the final season with all that flash-sideways business. But after years of Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse promising us the island wasn’t purgatory and the castaways weren’t dead, that all still felt like a cop out, right? Like, you’re still doing purgatory, just not in the way that fans guessed. Clever.
2. WTF Was the Smoke Monster? We don’t mean that literally. We know it was The Man in Black after he came in contact with the Heart of the Island. But the pilot episode teased something AWESOME and terrifying and badass tearing through the forest, knocking trees down and murdering pilots. Was it dinosaurs?! Monsters? No! Even scarier! It was smoke.
3. Nikki and Paulo: And not because they were the worst. Yes, they were the worst, but after we spent entire episodes — PLURAL — meeting survivors we had apparently just never noticed on the beach (oh ok.), they were killed off? What a waste of time. At that point, just keep ‘em. Maybe they’ll grow on us. Paulo was hot, at least. You didn’t have to murder them in one of the most horrific ways ever.
4. An Entire Season of Filler Episodes: An entire season that was a bigger waste of time than those Nikki and Paulo episodes. We all know what season we’re talking about. Season four. What even happened during season four?! Did anything even happen during season four?
5. Sun and Jin Dying: Sad on its own. But people need to die on TV shows. And Sun had to die, considering her circumstances: she was trapped in a sinking submarine. But Jin didn’t have to! He stayed with Sun to be romantic! Which would be romantic except THEY HAD A DAUGHTER TOGETHER. Did they just forget about Ji Yeon?! How is that OK?!
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6. And Charlie Dying: Again: characters die. But usually if you’re going to kill a main — and beloved —character, you’re going to kill them for a reason. We would argue Charlie’s death accomplish nothing. The “NOT PENNY’S BOAT” of it all was one of the most memorable and heart wrenching moments of the season, but was it worth poor Charlie drowning?
7. Juliet > Kate: This is more of a point of preference, but Juliet really did get the shaft on that damn Island, up to and including when she was killed. When she got literally shafted: She fell down a mineshaft and was blown up by a hydrogen bomb. She spent half her time playing second fiddle in love triangles to Kate, and right when she finally gets an epic love story with Sawyer, they threw her down a mineshaft. Juliet was smart, she was sweet, she had really pretty hair. We pick Juliet.
8. Uhh, Can We Talk About Walt? Anyone? Walt definitely had premonitions, if not full on magical powers. He kept popping up in weird places, being all mysterious and stuff. And sure, that a-hole Michael probably screwed up any potential his plotline had, but we really never did get much when it came to answers about Walt, did we? Maybe they never knew either?
9. There Were Just Too Many Rules: There were rules for getting on the island and rules for who got to leave. There were rules for who got saved and who got healed. Only certain people could know and do and see and hear certain things. It was almost too much to keep track of. If there were any rules at all. Maybe it was too simple: Pretty much everything can be summed up with magic.
10. Because We STILL Miss It: Lost was not perfect (see reason #1-9 above), but it was ambitious. And entertaining. And changed the way we’ll watch TV forever. We fell in love with those characters on that island and with the Island itself. Which is probably why we still have so many feelings, even a decade later.
Basically, in summary:
Meanwhile, Friends is turning 20!