Every year, companies pay staggering amounts of money to run short spots during the Super Bowl. Because of the number of viewers -- and the legendary tradition of Super Bowl ads -- advertisers go out of their way to make particularly funny, clever or emotional commercials that try to immediately grab your attention.
This year was filled with memorable ads, but not all of them were memorable for the right reasons. From celebs making fun of themselves to sexualized cars, and even post-apocalyptic nightmares, here are the best, the worst and the weirdest ads from Super Bowl XLIX.
Katie Couric and Bryant Gumbel Predict the Next Big Thing
Katie and Bryant were good sports in this commercial for the BMW i3. The spot begins with a clip of the Today show from 1994 in which the two hosts don't understand what the internet is, or what "@" stands for. It then cuts to them being equally confused about the fancy new BMW i3, indicating that this car will one day be as important as the internet. While that prediction seems a little out there, it's always enjoyable to see celebs poke fun at themselves.
The Brady Bunch, Machete, and Snickers
The brilliant minds at Snickers managed to put Danny Trejo into an episode of The Brady Bunch. That sentence alone should bring comedic joy into your heart. It's fun to think that Marcia Brady is just one bout of hunger away from turning into Machete. Plus, the surprise cameo at the end is just amazing.
Pierce Brosnan's Explosive Kia Concepts
Pierce Brosnan, best known for being one of the suavest James Bonds, pokes fun at himself and his career in this commercial for Kia. From snipers in the trees, to a tank in the middle of the road, and even an exploding cabin, the ex-Bond can't get his head out of the action movie mindset, and it's hilarious. It also makes us wish he could play Bond again, just once.
The Return of Walter White
All you need to know about this hilarious Esurance ad is that Bryan Cranston reprises his role as Walter White from Breaking Bad, and he hasn’t lost his menacing touch.
Liam Neeson Mocks Himself
The theme of this year's Super Bowl commercials really was stars making fun of themselves. From Kim Kardashian's selfie ad to the Kia and BMW spots mentioned above, every star hopped on board. Here, Liam Neeson is doing his best "Liam Neeson from Taken" impression as he violently threatens other players on the mobile app Clash of Clans while waiting for coffee.
Budweiser's Puppy Commercial
Before you start screaming at your computer screen, just hear us out. Yes, puppies are cute -- but this commercial makes 100% of all people cry. Who wants to be crying at a Super Bowl party? People just want to drink their beer without thinking of all their long-lost pets. Plus, using puppies in a commercial is kind of cheating. It's like singing "Don't Stop Believing" at karaoke.
Mercedes-Benz's Retelling of the Tortoise and the Hare
Mercedes tried to update the old fable of the Tortoise and the Hare, but instead of explaining how slow and steady wins the race -- you know, the moral of the story? – the ad shows the Tortoise buying a car and winning the race. So, is the moral, "If you're not good enough to win, just cheat?" That's awful.
Kate Upton('s boobs) Advertise Game of War App
You can't say that Game of War doesn’t know how to market their app to their perceived demographic. This ad features Kate Upton in a metal bustier riding a horse in slow motion. It's just laughable. Even Upton seems bored by this obvious nonsense.
Fiat Gets Sexual
This commercial features a erectile dysfunction pill falling into the gas tank of a Fiat, which then actually grows larger. Then, a bunch of local women stare at the car like they want to have sex with it. This is an actual ad that ran during the most-watched event in America.
Every Doritos Ad
It's impossible to choose which Doritos ad makes us want to eat Doritos the least. One features a jerk farmer who refuses to share his chips with an adorable kid. The other features a jerk on an airplane who goes through great lengths to convince people not to sit next to him -- that is, until a hot girl walks up. Why is everyone eating Doritos portrayed as mean and creepy?
Lindsay Lohan's Awkward Esurance Ads
If you're trying to rehabilitate your image, is it really a good idea to remind everyone of those times your were arrested for two DUIs or got into various collisions?
Nissan's "Cat's In The Cradle" Commercial
The commercial itself isn't bad. It's a Boyhood-esque story of a child growing up with his NASCAR-driving father. It would have been a sweet ad if it didn't combine the song "Cat’s in the Cradle" with a violent car crash. The problem is the song was written by Harry Chapin, who was tragically killed in a fiery car crash in 1981. All we're saying is, maybe companies should do a little research into their commercial song choices.
Loctite Glue… Is a Thing?
It's impossible to understand what this ad has to do with glue. Get it? It features people dancing in a manner you would not normally expect those people to dance. Hilarious!(?) And it apparently saved a couple's marriage, which can only mean something disturbing.
A Town Full of Giant-armed Lunatics Love Skittles
This is the story of a town full of people who settle their differences with arm-wrestling. Therefore, everyone's right arm is giant and muscular beyond all reason. Also, it's about Skittles, somehow. It's important to note two things: A) The main opponents aren't even arguing. The commercial literally begins with them agreeing. B) Nothing is more unsettling than a baby with one giant muscular baby arm.
Morphie's Apocalyptic Horror Show
To explain what this is even an ad for before watching it would ruin the real confusing mind-screw at the very end. Needless to say, the ad features horrifying, nightmarish images of wolves attacking people and dogs pulling their owners around on leashes through a riot-filled hellscape. Why would anyone want to watch this nightmare fuel while trying to enjoy the Super Bowl?
"BEST" HONORABLE MENTIONS
Chelsea Handler & Sarah Silverman's T-Mobile Commercial
Kim Kardashian Mocks Her Selfie Obsession
Mindy Kaling Thinks She's Invisible, Tries to Kiss Matt Damon
Turbo Tax Changes American History
For more wild Super Bowl ads, check out the video below for a behind-the-scenes look at the commercial that some are calling the sexiest Super Bowl spot of all time.
You can follow Zach Seemayer on Twitter @ZachSeemayer