In the two-hour tale of epic madness and insanity -- which took viewers from the halls of the White House to Universal Studios Orlando and even into space -- it was still the bizarre cameos and wacky guest appearances that kept us on our toes.
There were far too many fleeting cameos to really include them all, considering many of them just involved a single line or less -- it was like their entire cast of extras were all pulled from canceled reality shows or adult films. So instead, let's take a look at some of the meatier roles and break down whose surprise appearance was the best (and/or craziest).
13. Ne-Yo as Secret Service Agent Deveroux
It was nice to see the "Miss Independent" singer again! Unfortunately he's not around for long as his death in the movie comes when a shark hits the side of his Secret Service car. We don't even get to see him get devoured!
12. Chris Kirkpatrick as a Pool Lifeguard
The former ‘NSYNC-er rescues a little girl from a shark in a pool, then gets eaten while April (Tara Reid) watches and does nothing. But at least Chris dies a hero!
11. Robert Klein as the Mayor
The celebrated stand-up comic got one of the best shark-free scenes when he inducts Fin (Ian Ziering) into the Order of the Golden Chainsaw.
10. Kim Richards as a Universal Studios Park Employee
Kim is killed in a vicious shark attack while screaming at the top of her lungs, and for some reason, it made us feel a tad bit sad.
9. Anthony Weiner as the National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration Director
It's nice to see that the former U.S. Representative was able to rebound after his infamous sexting scandal.
8. Ann Coulter as the Vice President of the United States
While the idea of Ann Coulter as VP is scarier than most of the sharks in the movie, there was a wonderfully strange moment where she surfs down a flight of stairs on the back of a portrait of George Washington. It almost seemed like an attempt at a metaphor.
7. Chris Jericho as Bruce the Rollercoaster Guy
If Chris Jericho can't fend off a rain of sharks, it seems pretty unlikely that Steve Sanders from Beverly Hills, 90210 would be able to, but that's movie logic for you!
6. Jerry Springer as a Universal Studios Orlando Tourist
Jerry wants his picture taken with the giant Jaws shark at Universal Studios, but is eaten when it turns out the shark is real, which raises so many confusing questions. Namely, where the hell did the huge fiberglass Jaws shark go?
5. Lou Ferrigno as a Secret Service Agent
Lou Ferrigno ends up getting devoured by a shark while trying to protect Vice President Ann Coulter (which, by the way, is not a sentence most people thought they'd ever hear). But he manages to get out a sly reference to his days as the Hulk when he yells, "Don’t make me angry!"
4. Mark Cuban as the President of the United States
Mark Cuban is the president, and he goes on a shark shooting rampage through the White House that culminates in him throwing a grenade into a great white's mouth. Which is why we all love these movies in the first place.
3. Frankie Muniz as Lucas Stevens
It might be unfair to call Frankie's role a “cameo” considering he's in a sizable portion of the film, but his death alone demands that he get a spot on this list. In a clutch moment, where it's up to him to save the day by setting off a bomb, he gets each of his limbs bitten off, one by one, until he has to detonate the explosion with his chin! Way to go Malcolm!
2. David Hasselhoff as Gilbert Shepard
It says something about this film that the best actor, by far, was David Hasselhoff. But once you've seen the Hoff fighting sharks in outer space, you begin to wonder what else life has to offer. Oh, and he ends up getting stranded on the moon next to the Apollo 11 lander.
1. George R. R. Martin as Himself?
What's more likely? That George R. R. Martin will finish his Game of Thrones book series before everyone’s stopped caring, or that he'll get eaten by a shark that jumps out of a movie screen in real life? We're beginning to lean toward the latter.
And if this wasn't enough Sharknado insanity for you, don't worry! Syfy has already greenlit Sharknado 4! What's more, fans get to vote on whether Tara Reid's character April lives or dies as a result of Sharknado 3's cliffhanger ending.
Given how much people love to watch celebrities get gruesomely killed in this franchise, it seems like a safe bet that April isn't long for this world.