The cold open lampooned Trump's first official press conference as the president-elect and found comedy pay dirt in in the unconfirmed yet widely covered allegations that he hired Russian prostitutes to perform a "golden showers" sex show in front of him.
"I'm not talking about the pee-pee. Because it didn't happen," Baldwin's Trump said after fielding his first question from a reporter. "And it wasn't as cool as it sounds."
"I want to talk about what is really important, which is jobs, because I am going to bring back a thick stream of jobs back to this country," he added. "The biggest, strongest, steadiest stream you've ever seen. This country will be literally showered with jobs. Because I am a major wiz at jobs. It will be a golden opportunity for me as president to make a big splash."
Baldwin's Trump also addressed his plan to repeal the Affordable Care Act (ACA) when asked by one reporter if he had considered the fact that 20 million people will lose their health insurance and that many people could die as a result.
"Listen, sweetheart, I'm about to be president. We're all going to die," he shot back.
The relentless comedic takedown continued with special cameos by Steve Harvey (played by Kenan Thompson), who mocked the Family Feud host's recent genial sit-down with the president-elect, as well as a shirtless Vladimir Putin (played by Beck Bennett), who reminded Trump who is really in control of his presidency.
After the opening sketch, Jones took to the Studio 8H mainstage for her monologue, where she got a little help from a hologram Tina Fey -- dressed in a white headscarf like a certain iconic Star Wars princess -- who gave her some advice on how to host.
"Don't be [nervous]. If Steven Segal can do it, so can you," Fey said. "Don't worry about what the reviews say."
"Does this show get reviewed?" Jones asked.
"Yes, way too much," Fey replied. "And no matter how it goes, the president of the United States will say it's sad and overrated. [But] it's fine, no one cares."
Jones, in her SNL
hosting debut, was joined by musical guest and fellow SNL
first-timer Sturgill Simpson. Next week, Master of None
star Aziz Ansari is set to host
, with musical guest Big Sean. Check out the video below to hear more.