Late-Night Hosts Return to TV With Hilarious Toilet Paper Jokes -- See the Funniest Quarantine Monologues

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Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel and James Corden
NBC, ABC, CBS/YouTube

Nothing is going to keep our celebrated late-night talk show hosts from bringing comedy to the people.

Many of the biggest late-night TV stars are returning to their regular on-air time slots, shooting new, full episodes right in their home and conducting interviews via video chat -- and they wasted no time crafting some solid monologues that really speak to the experiences shared by everyone dealing with the coronavirus lockdowns across the country. 

After nearly every network shuttered productions on essentially every TV show in America, late-night shows went dark in an effort to keep production crews, audience members and hosts safe from the virus. However, for many hosts staying in quarantine just meant that they had to get creative with how to stay connected to their audiences and loyal viewers.

On Monday, however, after (theoretically) working out the kinks of making a full TV show from their living rooms, many hosts made their big returns with full episodes -- and hilariously took aim at topics that would only really make sense in our age of social distancing, panic buying and paranoia.

Jimmy Fallon kept his Tonight Show: Home Edition going with a new episode long enough to fill the time slot but with the same homemade charm and quirkiness that fans have come to embrace over the last week.

Fallon delivered a fun monologue while sitting behind his daughters' cardboard fruit vendor stand -- which he said took the family four full days to make -- and opened with a great joke about a particularly frustrating topic for many Americans.

"Well in the crazy times, Taco Bell announced they're offering every American one free Doritos Loco Taco," Fallon joked. "Experts are calling it, 'Not what we need during a national toilet paper shortage.'"

Fallon also mentioned the frenzy over toilet paper during his video chat with the night's guest, Kim Kardashian. He revealed that a few days ago he used a delivery app to order food from a local restaurant to support their business, and the meal with delivered with a complimentary roll of toilet paper.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!also returned with Kimmel classing his monologue up a bit from his "minilogue" YouTube installments. As his episode kicked off, he showed the makeshift lighting and camera rig he had set up in his living room and joked that it was "basically the same setup they use to shoot pornos."

In his monologue -- which he shot while wearing a suit, in a sign that he's looking to get back normal -- Kimmel reflected on his time in quarantine with his family, and joked about how things weren't as bad as they could potentially be.

"There is one thing that can make it a lot worse. And that would be if the wi-fi goes out. God forbid. Could you imagine? I don't know what I'd even do. I'd probably just go to a rave and surrender to the virus," Kimmel joked. "If someone asked me to choose between wi-fi and running water right now, I would drink my pool."

Kimmel also addressed the nearly universal lack of toilet paper, and how many people have had to become resourceful as quarantine continues.

"For a lot of people, like myself, today began our third week of quarantine. And this is when your survival skills start to kick in," he joked. "One of the guys who works on our show, an industrious young man named Max, ran out of toilet paper. And obviously you can't just go out and buy it right now."

"So max went to Amazon and searched 'novelty toilet paper' and this is what he found," Kimmel continued. "He found a roll that says 'Holy poop emoji, you're 50.' Max is 29. But his a** is 50. And it's not like anyone's coming over, so good for him."

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers' made his big return on Monday, after a week of making lengthy installments of his hit segment "A Closer Look," made specifically for YouTube. While he didn't address the toilet paper panic, he did share some useful quarantine tips -- like how to use scotch whiskey to disinfect your hands and pass the time getting hammered.

Meyers' also booked along a high-profile interview for his big Late Night comeback, and spoke with presidential candidate Bernie Sanders via video chat.

James Corden also hit the airwaves once again with a big "Homefest" special, featuring musical performances from a bunch of artists including BTS and Billie Eilish to name just a few.

In his intro, and throughout the night, Corden struck a much more emotional and sentimental tone, but still injected the light and humor that has endeared him to the nation since his show started.

"Let's be honest, none of us really know what day it is, I'm pitching for a Sunday in May, but I don't know. This is the first time in two and a half weeks that I have not been wearing sweatpants," Corden joked. "I also know that a lot of our viewers might be watching this show on their own right now, and I know that this is a strange and terrifying time. And I just want you to know that we are all in this together. "

Andy Cohen -- who is "feeling a lot better" after testing positive for coronavirus -- is also returning to his Bravo talk show, which he's now calling Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen: @ Home. Stephen Colbert also brought back The Late Show and Conan O'Brien returned to TBS will an all new episode of Conan.

Meanwhile, John Oliver already returned with a new installment of his once-weekly HBO commentary series Last Week Tonight on Sunday.

For more on the impact the coronavirus outbreak has had on the entertainment industry in American, and across the globe, check out the video below.

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