The 8 Goop-iest Things We Learned From the Newest Profile on Gwyneth Paltrow's Company

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Or should we say GP's company.

Everyone loves Goop.

You might think you hate Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow’s “organic-luxe” lifestyle brand, but you would be mistaken. We want to create an honest space here, and the first step is admitting that you actually do love Gwyneth’s lessons on how to yawn and steam douches. It’s OK. We do too.

WATCH: Gwyneth Admits Relationship With Chris Martin Is ‘Imperfect’

recently published a look “Inside Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow’s Growing Empire,” and it is the Goop-iest profile we’ve ever read. Below, the nine Goop-iest things we learned from it about Goop:

1. Goop employees call Gwyneth Paltrow “GP”:
Racked writer Chavie Lieber -- which is itself a very Goop-y name -- notes the Goop team “affectingly” refers to their boss by her initials. It’s sort of a family nickname (not unlike Goop, which is a nickname Paltrow’s real family gave her.) “It’s a lot of family time here,” Elise Loehnen, Goop's Editorial Director, says at one point. A very Goop thing to say.

2. Goop’s headquarters is in a barn:
Because of course it is. “The barn, complete with soaring ceilings and rustic wood floors, is tucked away from the canyon's main road, nestled among blooming hydrangea bushes,” the article paints a picture. “Inside, there's a bookshelf with volumes arranged by color, as well as a whimsical spiral staircase and a small nook of an attic that holds racks of designer clothing; the whole place smells like essential oils.” TAKE US HERE, PLEASE.

3. But Goop employees love working outdoors:
Especially when, as the article describes in truly Goop-y detail, “there’s a soft breeze blowing through [the] Los Angeles canyon.” There, they talk about how to best photograph products and discuss how, “People want to see the packaging, the texture, the variety of colors a product has.”

NEWS: Here’s How Gwyneth Paltrow Got That Crazy Bikini Body

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4. Gwyneth doesn’t actually write the newsletter:
You probably assumed so, already. But she does approve it every week. "Everything is pretty much signed off by GP," Loehnen promises. "She's not repackaging stories or doing any heavy lifting, but we're recipe-testing in her kitchen, going over the issue on Tuesdays...The brand is inextricably tied to her, but I think that she can't wait for the day when people will associate Goop with other people."

5. Gwyneth *does* have a lot of friends:
And really great hair. When Loehnen was asked about Goop being too “exclusive,” she nixed the notion and instead explained, "[GP] has access to all these interesting people and just naturally wants to share. She's not the type of person who wouldn't tell you where she got her hair cut."

6. Gwyneth’s taste > your taste:
OBVIOUSLY. Loehnen says of their critics, "Goop is good at pushing things to the mainstream, whether it's yoga, or acupuncture, all of these healing modalities. I think the mentality is changing from wanting to be like Gwyneth to realizing that she has good taste. People think, ‘If it's good enough for her, it's good enough for me.'"

NEWS: Gwyneth Paltrow on the Launch of Goop: ‘I Was a Fool’

7. Goop wants you inside it:
Well, inside its brand. "Shoppers like to touch and feel, and there's something very special about going into a store and stepping into the brand,” Brittany Weinstein, Goop's head of collaborations, reasons of future brick and mortar stores to sell Goop’s upcoming beauty line, as well as potential kitchenware, home goods, and fashion lines. “Nothing's set in stone, but we do talk about what a permanent store could look like."

8. Goop knows that you’re poor:
Just kidding! Kind of! "We know who our audience is," Goop CEO Lisa Gersh says. "For some people, [our content] is actually how they live, for others it's more aspirational. We try to mix it up on the site.”

Gersh continued, “People who actually go on the site will see that there are products they can afford, and then there's also some very aspirational stuff that only a very small portion of our audience can buy, but our other audience members still like to see it."

Goop: Letting your broke ass look at nice things since 2008.

Anyway, Gwyneth and her daughter Apple look EXACTLY alike: