Another day, another new Kardashian spinoff on E! How many Kardashian spinoffs are they at now? How do they even have time for other programming? Has Guiliana Rancic considered changing her name to Guiliana Kardashian to ensure job security? Maybe she should...
Anyway, following word that the Kardashians have agreed to be kept up with for an additional three years and Bruce Jenner has possibly already scored an offshoot series, Variety reports the network is mulling another spinoff for youngest daughters Kendall and Kylie Jenner, though “there have been no formal negotiations.”
Allow us to be blunt: We don’t need to see Kendall and Kylie Take New York. Or Take Milan. Or whatever fashion-centric city the network brass is brainstorming to showcase both girls’ budding modeling careers. We have Instagram. We’re good.
That said, here are 14 spinoffs we actually would watch:
1. Kendall and Kylie Take Appleton, Wisc.: Or any Midwest suburban city. They have to live in a middle-class home and attend a public high school and have a curfew and live like regular teenagers.
2. Kendall and Kylie Take South Central: Basically the opposite of the first suggestion. We drop the girls off on Skid Row and see what happens. It’s Kourtney and Kim Take Miami meets The Amazing Race meets The Wire.
3. Kendall and Kylie Take Washington: They get internships in the White House or work on the campaign trail and we get to hear their opinions on the political state of the country.
4. Kendall and Kylie Take Over A Small Country: Kind of like Lord of the Flies except E! gives them a real country to rule over with real people living in it and we see what happens.
5. Kendall and Kylie Take Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie’s Idea and Do The Simple Life 2: Everyone thought Paris and Nicole were vapid party girls with nothing to offer society. Then they traveled around the country, stopping at summer camps and on farms, and we realized they were vapid party girls who were entertaining which IS offering society something. We’re overdue for a sequel.
6. Kendall and Kylie Take No Freebies: What happens when the free swag dries up? We find out how spiritual (NOT materialistic) Kylie and Kendall really are. Can they stick to a budget to save up for that Range Rover? Let’s find out.
7. Kendall and Kylie Take the NYT Best Sellers List: Did you know that Kendall and Kylie Jenner wrote (or “wrote”) a novel? Like an actual book? We hate to be like this, but: Prove it. We want to see them every step of the writing process. A whole episode about writer’s block? Perfect. We’re enraptured.
8. Kendall and Kylie Take A.P. Physics: Whoever gets a higher score on their A.P. exam doesn’t have to return for Kendall or Kylie and Some Other Kardashian Take A.P. Calc.
9. Kendall and Kyle Take Public Transportation: Each week the girls take a different bus route. Subsequent seasons focus on the subway, flying commercial, maybe a two-hour special about ferries?
10. Kendall and Kylie Take Applebees: Or substitute whichever restaurant chain agrees to hire them. They work as waitresses for minimum wage and then have to pay rent at the end of the month.
11. Kendall and Kylie Take Liam Neeson’s Kids:Taken 5?
12. Kendall and Kylie Keep Up With Everyone Else: This could go two ways: 1) Each week a news anchor from a major news network (CNN, Fox News, etc.) quizzes Kendall and Kylie on that week’s news. Or 2) Kendall and Kylie have to sit in a random room with regular Joes and hear about their lives for 30 minutes.
13. Kendall and Kylie Keep Up With the Kardashians: Where they watch a non-stop loop of all the Kardashian shows on E! and see how they like it.
Now, find out what Kylie has to say about rumors she’s a pregnant dropout: