Celebs just don't even know what to call their kids anymore.
Celebs just don't even know what to call their kids anymore.
2014 brought us a plethora of adorable celebrity babies-- with names that gave us pause. Now, to be clear, there is NOTHING WRONG with these bundles of joy, we're just saying their famous parents got a little... creative when deciding what to call them.
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OH BOY, the creativity. Let's call out the most weird AF celebrity baby names we saw this year.
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1. Marlowe Monroe (Jenna von Oy + Brad Betcher)
Admit it. If Drunk History makes a Marilyn Monroe episode, THIS IS HOW THE HAMMERED COMEDIAN WILL SAY HER NAME.
2. Wyatt Isabelle (Mila Kunis + Ashton Kutcher)
This is NOT because Wyatt is traditionally a boy’s name (normativity is lame!). Wyatt and Isabelle (or rather, Isabella) are just so trendy right now. The only thing Ashton and Mila are guilty of is not looking past the first page of a baby name search engine.
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3. Briar Rose (Rachel Bilson + Hayden Christensen)
If you want to name your daughter Sleeping Beauty without naming her Sleeping Beauty, it's either this or Aurora.
4. Sunday Molly (Mike Myers + Kelly Myers)
Mike Myers said on David Letterman, "Me and my wife Kelly hate Sundays," and they named their baby in hopes of turning that around. This is a sweet thought if you don't really think about it -- you are putting the onus of reshaping a longheld worldview onto an newborn. That's how resentment happens! Plus, as Dave pointed out, "That sounds like a song from the '60s."
5. River Rose (Kelly Clarkson + Brandon Blackstock)
"Dear Mom, I know "My Life Would Suck Without You, " but I can’t "Breakaway" from the fact that my very naturey name is all "Because Of You. " It’s fine though, because I still love you and I know I’ll be "Stronger" for it."
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6. Apollo Bowie Flynn (Gwen Stefani + Gavin Rossdale)
Giving your kid a lot of names to work with is probably good call -- it lets them take the power back and choose how to be identified as they grow up. But you have to throw something easy and/or boring in there, in case Bowie feels more like a Barry.
7. Summer Rain (Christina Aguilera + Matthew Rutler)
You are beautiful, no matter what your name.
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8. Saint Lazslo (Pete Wentz + Meagan Camper)
The silver lining here is now at least little Lazlo's brother, Pete's other kid Bronx Mowgli, will have someone to share solace with in the cruel, cruel elementary school lunch rooms.
9. Buzz Michelangelo (Tom Fletcher + Giovanna Fletcher)
Renaissance painter and space guy? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Toy Story? This name lacks thematic consistency.
10. Sid Biggs (Jason Biggs + Jenny Mollen)
Speaking of Toy Story, OF COURSE Jason Biggs would give his son the villain’s name. To be honest, we expected much worse from the guy who said this about his former co-star, this about the Malaysia Airlines tragedy, and THIS about a deceased TV star.
11. Bodhi Ransom (Megan Fox + Brian Austin Green)
Call us old fashioned, but we just don't think it's a good idea to name your kid Ransom.
12. Esmerelda Amanda (Ryan Gosling + Eva Mendes)
Ryan Gosling had a baby without you and then named it after a Disney character without consulting you.
13. Royal Reign (Lil' Kim + Papers)
Take THAT, Prince George of Cambridge!
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14. Titan Jewell (Kelly Rowland + Timothy Witherspoon)
This sounds less like a baby name, and more like the rock on North West's future wedding ring.
15. Jane Kimmel (Jimmy Kimmel + Molly McNearney)
Sorry Jimmy, but you can't buck the trend by having a totally normal, classic name for your wonderful new daughter. You make the list because you didn't PLAY THE GAME.
16. Megaa Omari Grandberry (Omarion + Apryl Jones)
Oh man... if you are going to give your kid a weird name, this is the way to do it. This might be the coolest name ever given. Megaa Omari is the baby name by which all baby names from now on should be judged.
Children are a gift, people. If you want to call that gift Saint Lazslo, that’s your prerogative.
In the meantime, here are tips from Lucky magazine editor-in-chief Eva Chen on maintaining flawless style while pregnant.