As if being a sex appeal deity and hilarious actor isn't enough, Channing Tatum insists on being life-ruiningly awesome in his free time too.
So during his Reddit AMA on Wednesday, the Magic Mike XXL star really was game for you to ask him just about ANYTHING. Here are the 17 realest revelations from this pinnacle moment of our young nation's history.
1. He admits his acting in Step Up is "bad."
When asked, "How many times is too many to see Step Up," Channing established that this was going to get very real.
"I guess you need to see it as many times as it takes you to realize how bad my acting is in it," he said. "And fast forward to the dancing parts after that."
2. His favorite Disney character is the Broom from Fantastia.
We don't even know.
3. He has absolutely no clue what Jupiter Ascending was.
God, we love you so much.
4. He reveals his super complicated "perfect sandwich." (Except it's really just a PB&J with Cheetos.)
Forgive us if we're skeptical.
5. He "absof**kinglutely" gets lost in Matt Bomer's eyes.
WELL DUH, THAT JUST MEANS YOU'RE HUMAN!
6. Equal Opportunity Threesomes.
"If you want a threesome with a girl then you have to offer her a threesome with a guy."
7. We now what his penis' nickname is.
Good to know.
8. He loves Pinterest and Flipboard.
9. We're pretty sure he wants to have sex with Danny DeVito. (OK, maybe 99.9 percent sure.)
He literally brings it up twice.
10. He totally namedrops his "buddy Pratt."
Famous friend goals.
11. He talks about Joe Manganiello's pectoral muscles "blinding" him.
No surprises there.
12. You have to ask his wife if you want to grab his ass (or single ab) right now.
"You'd have to ask my wife. I'm fine with you grabbing my ass. But you'd have to ask her and it depends on her mood. And you can touch my ab, I only have one right now. If you're into that kind of thing. I'm all for it."
13. He wants a lap dance from Kevin Nash.
"I am not even joking about this. Kevin Nash. I've always wanted to know what it feels like to be tiny in his arms and thrown around."
14. He does like making millions of people sexually frustrated -- "if that's actually true."
"If that's actually true," he says. IF THAT'S ACTUALLY TRUE.
15. He hand typed a lot of the "hahahahhahahaha" Sony email before realizing he could copy and paste.
You wonderful soul.
16. If he ever wears an "I hate pizza" shirt, just punch him.
17. Lastly, that was him at the Sea-Tac airport Chili's.
Here's the whole thing. Experience it yourself, really.
Magic Mike XXL comes out July 1. Thank heaven for Channing Tatum.