Michelle Rodriguez is still hurting. The 37-year-old actress participated in the new documentary The Reality of Truth, where she talked about her late Fast and Furious co-star, Paul Walker.
“When I lost Paul, I went through a year of just being like an animal,” Rodriguez said of the time period following Walker’s tragic death in November 2013.
In a clip from the controversial doc, which was obtained by TMZ, the action star said she struggled with how transient life is and tried to escape from the pain of losing a loved one.
“I did everything I could possibly do to hide from myself,” she said in the one-minute video shared on the site about trying the psychedelic tea Ayahuasca, which is made up of special plants.
“My Ayahuasca trip made me sad that he left me here. It wasn’t a sadness that he’s gone. It was more like a jealousy that he’s there first,” Rodriguez said in the documentary clip.
The Reality of Truth is a documentary film by Mike “Zappy” Zapolin and features interviews from Deepak Chopra, Peter Coyote, and Joel Osteen. According to the film’s website, the documentary explores “ how people, groups and entire cultures tap into an alternative, ‘true reality’ through spirituality, meditation, and psychedelics.” It was recently released in select theaters around the country.
This isn’t the first time Rodriguez has opened up about her struggle following Walker’s death. In March 2015, she spoke with Entertainment Weekly about the difficult time in her life.
"I went pretty crazy. A lot of the stuff I did last year I would never do had I been in my right mind,” she said at the time. "I was pushing myself to feel. I felt like nothing I could do could make me feel alive, so I just kept pushing myself harder and harder. I was traveling and I was having sex. And I was just trying to ignore everything that I was feeling."
In August 2015, Rodriguez opened up to ET about Walker’s teenage daughter, Meadow Walker, showing her support.
“She’s been pretty incognito ever since everything happened,” she said of Meadow. “We just try to be supportive and let her know we’re here if she ever wants it. Whatever she wants, she’s got it.”
Walker died in a fatal car crash after attending a charity event in on Nov. 30, 2013. At the time he was in the middle of filming Furious 7. The cast completed the movie with the help of Walker’s look-alike brothers and went on to become the most financially successful film in the franchise, which is set to shoot at least three more installments in the upcoming years.