NEWS

Hillary Clinton Reads Actual Donald Trump Quotes on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'

by Zach Seemayer 11:33 PM PDT, August 22, 2016
Playing Hillary Clinton Reads Actual Donald Trump Quotes on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'

Hillary Clinton sat down with Jimmy Kimmel on Monday and the Democratic presidential nominee was fiery and funny while getting in a few solid knocks against her GOP opponent, Donald Trump.

The interview mainly consisted of Kimmel asking Clinton about some of the more salacious rumors the Trump campaign has leveled against her, and the 68-year-old presidential hopeful made it very clear that she was bringing her best to the fight.

Kimmel asked how she was going to take Trump on head-to-head during the upcoming debates, and Clinton revealed that she's done her homework when it comes to her opponent's tactics.

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"I watched lot of his debates during the primaries, and he insulted all of his opponents, he insulted all of the moderators, and he insulted I guess about 80% of the American people, and the rest of the world,” she noted.

"On the one hand, [the debates are] a serious chance for Americans to tune in and if they haven’t made up their minds, to try and make up their minds. So I want to take it seriously," Clinton continued. "But you've got to be prepared for wacky stuff that comes at you. I am drawing on my experience in elementary school."

One schoolyard rumor spread by some of Trump's supporters involves Clinton's supposedly ailing health. But the former first lady has been dealing with life in the tabloid spotlight for years, and she's learned to laugh it off.

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"Back in October, National Enquirer said I would be dead in six months," Clinton joked. "So with every breath I take it feels like a new lease on life."

To prove her vitality, Kimmel presented Clinton with a jar of pickles and asked her to pull off the lid, which she did while feigning a momentary struggle.

"I do feel sometimes that this campaign has entered into an alternative universe," the former Secretary of State said, after the demonstration of her jar-opening abilities. "I'm out here talking about how we can create a lot of new jobs, how we can help young people pay off their student debts… and then I have to step into the alternative reality and answer questions like, 'Am I alive?' and 'How much longer will I be alive?'"

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While Trump's antics have been great comedy fodder for Kimmel and other late night talk show hosts' monologues, Clinton said she'd rather be running against someone she felt was a decent candidate who was right for the job.

"I'd prefer to be running against somebody I thought was qualified to be President and temperamentally fit to be commander-in-chief," Clinton admitted.

Finally, Kimmel pulled out a fishbowl (adorned with an orange Trump wig) filled with quotes from the business mogul and he challenged Clinton to read the quotes with a straight face.

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While she managed to get through some of Trump's more self-aggrandizing comments with ease (such as, "I think apologizing is a great thing but you have to be wrong. I will absolutely apologize sometime in the hopefully distant future, if I'm ever wrong.") she had a tough time getting through one of his more vitriolic comments about Rosie O'Donnell.

"If I were running The View, I'd fire Rosie O'Donnell," Clinton intoned, reading one of Trump's many comments about O'Donnell from their now-infamous feud. "I mean, I'd look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I'd say, 'Rosie, you're fired.'"

Crumpling the quote up and tossing it away, a serious Clinton commented, "That's not funny… I mean, that's the whole deal. Do you want a 'You're fired' president or a 'You're hired' president?"

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However, when it came to the final quote, Clinton couldn't even bring herself to read it, so Kimmel took the bullet and read it for her.

"I've said if Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her," Kimmel read, barely containing his laughter, before telling the audience, "We didn't make these up. These are real quotes."

As the interview came to a close, Clinton even offered Kimmel a very special position in her cabinet: The entirely made-up role of Vice-Vice-President.

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