The track is the first single from Fergie’s new album, Double Dutchess, and the 11-minute video is interspersed with clips of the singer sharing intimate details about experiencing feelings of fear, panic and being watched. It is unclear whether the statements are based on her own life, however, she has previously spoken about battling drug addiction before joining the Black Eyed Peas.
“I got to a point where I was seeing devils everywhere. Devil faces,” she says, while footage of her stumbling down the street is shown. “Creatures that would appear to me would say, ‘Fly, fly, fly.’ I would constantly be in this state of listening to the messages that all of these creatures... what they were going to tell me. What their messages were and what I should do and life became almost like this whole game."
'I was just going to lose it,” she continues. “I was about to start screaming at everybody in the street. I ended up on Wilshire and I saw this church…”
The GRAMMY winner is then shown entering a church and continues to tell stories in the video, including how journaling helped her deal with difficult moments..
“I have journals of it all and I remember writing to myself throughout that period of my life,” she says. “It’s how I can divulge my true feelings because it’s been difficult to trust, for me, in my life, so the paper is always where I could emotionally get to those crevices -- those little corners of feelings. I’m so glad I did it because at least I was checking in with myself, at least I knew that I was becoming a f**k up.”
“I had to really work hard at telling the spirit, the vision, to go away,” she adds. “I had to say out loud, ‘Leave me alone, I choose the good.’ It was this epiphany I had in the holy war of good against evil.”