The Best Zingers From Cecily Strong's White House Correspondents' Dinner Speech
By Jessica Roy
SNL's Cecily Strong hosted the 2015 White House Correspondents' Dinner, and she didn't let anyone off the hook!
Here are some of the best lines from her speech.
First, she thanked the previous host for his inspiration.
"I feel very lucky to be here. Last year's host, Joel McHale, proves that speaking at this dinner is an amazing opportunity that can take you from starring in a show on NBC all the way to starring on that same show on Yahoo."
Then she took a few potshots at the news outlets in the room...
"Fox News has been losing a lot of viewers lately, and may they rest in peace… That channel is all hot blonde ladies and old dudes. Every show on Fox News looks like a party scene in Weekend at Bernie's."
"You gotta give it up for CNN. It's just comforting to know that whenever a major story breaks, I can turn to CNN and watch Anthony Bourdain eat a cricket."
"USA Today is here. Of course, they're only here because they were slipped under the hotel door. Now that's USA Today, unless 'today' is Saturday or Sunday."
...And even called out some journalists by name.
"Sarah Koenig must be so pissed about The Jinx. It's like Serial, but with an ending."
"And what can I say about Brian Williams? Nothing, because I work for NBC."
"We are really in a golden age of television. But I have to say, I still see so many negative portrayals of black and gay people out there. I mean, it's 2015, and we still have TV characters like Don Lemon?"
"Just because Aaron Schock resigned doesn't mean that there aren't any smokin'-hot Congressmen left. I mean, looking out tonight, I see so many 10s. Well, Washington 10s, so New York 4s."
Next, she turned to the impending political media circus: The 2016 election. First up: The Democrats...
"Hillary has her work cut out for her. Her Democratic challengers are a 'Who's Who' of 'who's that?' Jim Webb, Lincoln Chafee, Silas Phelps, Peter Wilks… now those last two were characters from The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. You didn't even notice, did you?"
"A lot of people want Elizabeth Warren to run for president, but many say she's too idealistic and her proposed policies are too liberal. But look at President Obama! People thought the same thing about him and he didn't end up doing any of that stuff."
"Now, I don't want you to take any of this as an endorsement for Hillary Clinton. Because I would never blindly endorse a candidate I don't play on SNL."
"Let's talk about the most important person in the room. My leader, Michelle Obama. … Now Michelle, you take care of that garden while you can, because in 18 months, Bill is turning that thing into an above-ground pool."