The Best Zingers From Cecily Strong's White House Correspondents' Dinner Speech

by Jessica Roy 12:12 AM PDT, April 27, 2015
Playing The Best Zingers From Cecily Strong's White House Correspondents' Dinner Speech

SNL's Cecily Strong hosted the 2015 White House Correspondents' Dinner, and she didn't let anyone off the hook!

Here are some of the best lines from her speech.

First, she thanked the previous host for his inspiration.

"I feel very lucky to be here. Last year's host, Joel McHale, proves that speaking at this dinner is an amazing opportunity that can take you from starring in a show on NBC all the way to starring on that same show on Yahoo."

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Then she took a few potshots at the news outlets in the room...

"Fox News has been losing a lot of viewers lately, and may they rest in peace… That channel is all hot blonde ladies and old dudes. Every show on Fox News looks like a party scene in Weekend at Bernie's."

"You gotta give it up for CNN. It's just comforting to know that whenever a major story breaks, I can turn to CNN and watch Anthony Bourdain eat a cricket."

"USA Today is here. Of course, they're only here because they were slipped under the hotel door. Now that's USA Today, unless 'today' is Saturday or Sunday."

...And even called out some journalists by name.

"Sarah Koenig must be so pissed about The Jinx. It's like Serial, but with an ending."

"And what can I say about Brian Williams? Nothing, because I work for NBC."

"We are really in a golden age of television. But I have to say, I still see so many negative portrayals of black and gay people out there. I mean, it's 2015, and we still have TV characters like Don Lemon?"

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Then she teased some other audience members...

"The cast of ABC's Black-ish is here, which I think is very inappropriate after the way they treated those whales at SeaWorld."

...including the politicians in attendance.

"Just because Aaron Schock resigned doesn't mean that there aren't any smokin'-hot Congressmen left. I mean, looking out tonight, I see so many 10s. Well, Washington 10s, so New York 4s."

Next, she turned to the impending political media circus: The 2016 election. First up: The Democrats...

"Hillary has her work cut out for her. Her Democratic challengers are a 'Who's Who' of 'who's that?' Jim Webb, Lincoln Chafee, Silas Phelps, Peter Wilks… now those last two were characters from The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. You didn't even notice, did you?"

"A lot of people want Elizabeth Warren to run for president, but many say she's too idealistic and her proposed policies are too liberal. But look at President Obama! People thought the same thing about him and he didn't end up doing any of that stuff."

"Now, I don't want you to take any of this as an endorsement for Hillary Clinton. Because I would never blindly endorse a candidate I don't play on SNL."

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...and then, for fairness' sake, the other side of the aisle.

"Jeb is actually an acronym for John Ellis Bush. I guess he thought that sounded too elitist, so he wayyy overcompensated. It's kind of like if Benedict Cumberbatch decided to go by 'Skeeter.'"

"Rand Paul has announced that he's taking over the family's not-being-president business. … Now Paul is a Libertarian, which, if you're unfamiliar, is just a Republican you have to block on Twitter."

"Carly Fiorina is considering running for President. Seems like a lot of work just to be a Fox News pundit."

Finally, she got to the man of the hour: President Obama, whom she thanked for "taking time away from Jimmy Kimmel to be here."

"After 6 years in office, your approval rating is at 48 percent. Not only that, your gray hair is at 85 percent. Your hair is so white now it can talk back to the police.

And of course, the true VIP of the evening: Mrs. Obama.

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"Let's talk about the most important person in the room. My leader, Michelle Obama. … Now Michelle, you take care of that garden while you can, because in 18 months, Bill is turning that thing into an above-ground pool."

Watch her full speech: