Alanis Morissette is opening up about still experiencing crippling postpartum depression after giving birth to her daughter, Onyx Solace, last June.
The 43-year-old singer first suffered from postpartum depression after welcoming her 6-year-old son, Ever Imre, in 2010. In a new interview with People, Morissette says her depression returned "seconds" after giving birth to Onyx, only this time, the symptoms are "four times worse."
“There are days I’m debilitated to the point where I can barely move,” she shares. “It’s very isolating. I’m used to being the Rock of Gibraltar, providing, protecting and maneuvering. It had me question everything. I’ve known myself to be a really incredible decision-maker and a leader that people can rely on. [Now] I can barely decide what to eat for dinner.”
Alanis Morissette's 'Jagged Little Pill' Musical to Debut May 2018, Singer Calls It a 'Dream Come True'
Postpartum depression symptoms she's experienced include intense physical pain, insomnia, lethargy and even “horrifyingly scary” visions of her family being harmed. Morissette admits that her condition has affected her marriage to her husband of seven years, 37-year-old rapper Mario “Souleye” Treadway.
“Poor Souleye sometimes gets the dregs of my exhaustion at the end of the night," she says. "Even holding hands at this point is a deeply intimate experience.”
“He’s doing the best he can," she adds. "I just basically say to him, ‘There’s an end to this, and I’m in the middle of it. I’m so sorry for not being able to be who you typically know me to be.’”
Morissette is currently being treated with medication and homeopathic therapies, and also says that exercising, seeing therapists and writing songs have helped her cope.
"I wrote many, many songs over the last three months,” she reveals. “It was a song a day. I had to start writing songs, or I was going to implode.”
She is also hopeful that there will eventually be an end to her stuggles.
“There are people who are like, ‘Where’s the old Alanis?’ and I just think, ‘Well, she’s in here. She’s having a minute,’” she explains. “I just know that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and try not to beat myself up.
Alanis Morissette Shows Off 'I Voted' Sticker While Breastfeeding Daughter Onyx
It's been a tough year for Morissette. In May, the singer's ex-manager, Jonathan Todd Schwartz, was sentenced to six years in federal prison for embezzling more than $7 million from Morissette and others.