Alanna Ubach Shares the Heartbreaking Confrontation She Had With Her Mom on Her Deathbed

Alanna Ubach
Andrew Eccles/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty Images

The 'Euphoria' star got candid on the 'Pop Culture Moms' podcast.

Alanna Ubach is opening up her life with her mother.

In the premiere episode of the Pop Culture Moms podcast, hosted by Andie Mitchell and Sabrina Kohlberg, the women share their journey and uncover the questions they have about motherhood through interviews with famous TV moms. They also answer the question about what makes the "cool mom." 

During their conversation Ubach -- who plays Suze Howard on Euphoria -- got candid about her personal relationship with her mother, whom she said was the opposite of the "cool mom." 

"She was so conservative when we were growing up. She was a b***h. Yeah, it was tough," she said about her mother. "You know, it's, it's just, it's very, very, very interesting. I had a very complicated relationship with my mom, after my father passed away."

Ubach revealed that after her father's death, her relationship with her mother remained "tense" which led to a tough conversation with her prior to her death. 

"My father passed away very suddenly, Very violently, and it was horrifying. And so my mother and I had a very, very tense relationship after that, all throughout my 20s," she revealed. "And when she was on her deathbed, I...God, it was the last conversation we had and I was like, 'Mom, you know, I always, I've always known you love me, but sometimes I never, I never really felt like you liked me.'"

ABC/Gabby Jones

She continued, "You know, and I didn't know how she was going to react to that. And she looked at me and she was like, 'Son of a b***h, Alanna, I gave you everything.' And I thought, 'Oh God, that was a horrible, why did I say that? Why did I say that?' And she passed away like three days later. So, you know I think about that conversation at least once a week, it haunts me and we're all doing the best we can. But I had to say that. I had to. I had to."

Ubach -- whose character on the HBO series is defined as the cool mom -- revealed that she channeled her late mother during a memorable scene from last season, when Suze sees herself portrayed in her daughter, Lexi's, play

For the iconic scene, Ubach said that she took a page from her own mother's book

"I thought, OK, I'm going to be my own mother who, I did this one-woman show and I played her in it and not in a great light. But she was on the floor laughing. She's like, 'Oh, you turned me into such a see you next Tuesday.' I loved it," she said.

"It was fantastic, and she was just so…And she's always, she was, she was always such a frustrated writer, journalist, and, and it was really exciting to see how excited she got for it," she continued. "I thought that was so funny and odd. And I loved that because I thought, well you know, as my mom got older, she really did grab life by the balls, and I just admired that so much. She'd been through so much as a child and in her marriage, raising me and my sister, we weren't the easiest kids to raise, and she just came out smelling like a rose."

Ubach has celebrated the ebbs and flows of motherhood on and off-screen and shared that it's simply just family dynamics. 

"You don't have to say dysfunctional family, all you have to say is family and we get it," she told the hosts. "Any family that pretends they're perfect and they have this perfect mom  and this perfect dad and everything is absolutely fine I'm like, 'Ummm, what's going on?'"

Pop Culture Moms debuts Feb. 27, and will feature interviews with Misty Copeland, Melissa Rivers, Heather Gay, and Su-Chin Pak. New episodes will be available weekly.