Taylor Nolan has a lot to say in response to her past offensive tweets resurfacing. The Bacheloralum took to Instagram on Sunday to comment on her past tweets, which were posted in 2011 and 2012, that were offensive to the LGBTQ, Asian, Jewish, Indian and Chinese communities, as well as fat phobic.
In a 30-minute long video, Nolan, who first appeared on Nick Viall's season of The Bachelor and later on Bachelor in Paradise, said that the tweets were "not surprising" to her because she's "incredibly aware" of the "highly problematic, highly hurtful" things she's said in the past.
"How do you think I got to doing the work that I do today?" said Nolan, who's a mental health counselor, as well as one of the most outspoken proponents against racism in the Bachelor franchise, including recent controversies involving contestant Rachael Kirkconnell and host Chris Harrison.
Nolan, who is biracial, said that her tweets were in response to how much she "hated" herself, "from the time I was in sixth grade to...to the time I was about to graduate from graduate school."
The self-hatred Nolan felt was a result of the "racism" she'd experienced from the "white supremacy" she was raised in, she said.
"I thought, 'If I am in with these [white] people, they're not going to hurt me,' which is flawed, which is incredibly flawed," she said. "... These were beliefs in my tweets that had been echoed by the whiteness around me that was reinforced."
Nolan said that her own experiences with "racism on the reg" led her to lash "out at other people of color."
"I said f**ked up s**t," she admitted. "It wasn't OK then. It still isn't OK now."
Throughout her video, Nolan criticized the people who resurfaced her tweets, claiming that they were looking to discredit her current work by doing so. "One of the only reasons why these tweets are coming out now is because I have upset white supremacy repeatedly," she said.
As for why she didn't delete the tweets, Nolan said she made a conscious choice to keep them because it was her "truth."
"I did not delete those tweets there because those were a part of my truth and I'm not going to hide from that," she said. "... I could've very easily deleted all of that and hid from it. And I said, 'You know what, I'm sure it's coming to come out one day and when it does, I know that I've done the work. I know that I have changed since then.'"
She included an apology to the BIPOC community, saying, "To my BIPOC community who is hurt by these things, I am sorry."
"I sincerely hope that you do see all the work that I do today... I hope that seeing these tweets lets you know that I've done the work. That I continuously do the work," she said. "... I'm not going to come on here and be like, 'I'm going to do better.' I've been doing better. Not just because I want to be performative, not just because I feel bad, because it's the right thing to do."
Nolan added that she's "open to learning" and hopes people can "trust that I've changed in the last 10 years."
In the video's caption, Nolan said her tweets were "s**tty, they suck, they were wrong, and are hurtful."
"I didn’t need anyone to call those things out to me to know they were wrong, I’ve been doing that work on my own for the last ten years and its the same work I do today and the same work I will continue doing for the rest of my life," she wrote in part. "To my fellow BIPOC community and the other folks who I harmed in those tweets, I see you, I hope you see me, we are in this together and I’m sorry I didn’t always stand with you. I’m sorry I centered my whiteness and the whiteness around me. I'm sorry I wasn't better then, but I am here now and will always be."
Nolan also addressed the people who are "out to get" her and "can't stand to look at their own racism."
"Those tweets do not invalidate my work today and I will always be open to hearing how to do better from my BIPOC counterparts," she wrote. "I hope you can consider giving me some of [the] ~grace~ you push so hard for white bachelor alum to receive for things they have in the recent past or present time said and done that were harmful…for the work I’ve been doing the last ten years and currently to unpack internalized racism and fight against things like fat phobia and white supremacy."
In a follow-up Instagram post, Nolan shared why she focused on addressing the BIPOC community in her video, and not the other communities she'd offended.
"At the time of the video I only had seen the tweets towards BIPOC communities but obviously have hurt many outside of that," she wrote. "Close to every marginalized group, honestly!"
Nolan also wrote that she's been "attacked and harassed online for weeks," adding that the tweets "were not surfaced in good faith."
"These are people who surfaced the tweets in attempt to invalidate and distract from the work being done. They've been harassing me and trolling me, and I didn't want to give them that so I felt hesitant to apologizing and making them feel like they're right," she wrote in part. "I didn't want to distract from the actual work around racial justice and [the] bachelor franchise that I'm doing and so many others are doing."
As for the people she's hurt, Nolan said they have "every right to be upset at me to feel shocked and disappointed in me."
"I know I've hurt every group out there, from LGBTQ to [the] disabled community to black, to Asian people, the list goes on!" she wrote. "None of the things I said were okay. Period. I hated myself and fully absorbed those harmful messages we all have grown up with in this culture and that's where those came from. The things in my tweets were all wrong, and I fight against them today."
"Please know that I stand with you in fighting against people who currently hold those harmful perspectives like in my tweets," she continued. "I have acknowledged these harmful perspectives, discussed where I have for example perpetuated fat phobia in the past, and it will always be an ongoing daily work because these things are embedded in our culture."
Nolan added that she "will always be a student and will always have new things to unlearn and learn."
"I am dedicated to this work and I hope my work will allow for forgiveness and acceptance of my change on your part," she wrote. "I will have more in the future, per usual! I just need some space."