"First, I'd like to thank all the older women in America who have sent me supportive, inspiring, and sometimes graphic emails," Pitt's Fauci said in the taped address. "Second, there's been a lot of misinformation out there about the virus. And, yes, the president has taken some liberties with our guidelines. So tonight, I would like to explain what the president was trying to say. And, remember, let's all keep an open mind."
After playing a clip of Trump promising that a vaccine would be coming "relatively soon," Fauci broke down how that could be interpreted.
"'Relatively soon' is an interesting phrase. Relative to the entire history of Earth? Sure, the vaccine's going to come real fast," Fauci said. "But if you were to tell a friend, 'I'll be over relatively soon,' and then showed up a year and a half later, well, your friend may be relatively pissed off."
The next clip saw Trump telling reporters, "Anybody that needs a test gets a test. They're there. They have the tests. And the tests are beautiful."
"OK. A couple of things. I don't know if I would describe the test as 'beautiful' unless your idea of beauty is having a coon swab tickle your brain," Fauci said. "Also, when he said, 'Everyone can get a test,' what he meant was, 'Almost no one.'"
After a few more clarifications, Fauci played a clip of Trump saying he had no plans on firing the medical expert, to which Fauci explained, "So, yeah, I'm getting fired. But until then, I'm going to be here putting out the facts for whoever's listening. And when I hear things like, 'The virus can be cured if everyone takes the Tide Pod challenge,' I'll be there to say, 'Please don't.'"
Then, dropping the impression, Pitt removed his white wig and glasses, and addressed "the real Dr. Fauci."
"Thank you for your calm and your clarity in this unnerving time," Pitt said, with genuine solemnity. "And thank you to the medical workers, first responders and their families, for being on the front line."
"And now, live (kind of) from all across America, it's Saturday night!" he added, kicking off the show.