22 Guys Who Are Super Excited To Stand Next To Kate Upton

Today, the stunningly gorgeous Kate Upton turns 22, and while we normally take a look at a star's styles though the years in celebration of their birthdays, this time it seemed imperative to examine the total joy and excitement Kate manages to bring into the world every day.

Simply being near Kate Upton is too much for some people to process, causing them to smile like children in some sort of sexy candy store. Which, by the way, would be a great idea for a Vegas chocolate shop.

Anyway, without further ado, we present 22 guys who are super excited to be standing next to supermodel and super-cool lady Kate Upton…

This Australian footballer – or Soccer player, as we say in this, and only this, country – was practically bursting out of his Victorian-era spectacles and gentleman's hat at the opportunity to hold the same Melbourne Cup that Upton was holding. And to Upton's credit she rocked the "fancy hat at a horse race" tradition like nobody's business.

The host of The Tonight Show couldn't even keep it together when Upton showed up. He dove under the desk to hide from the shining, radiant magnificence of Kate Upton in a scarlet dress. Maybe Jimmy's just shy?

Justin is a celebrated pitcher for the Detroit Tigers. He was named American League Rookie of the Year in 2006, he won the Cy Young Award in 2011, he's thrown over 1,700 strikeouts and he's pitched two no-hitters. Also, none of those made him as happy as when he met Kate Upton. If he was smiling any wider his jaw would break. Meanwhile, Kate Upton remains coy and cool as ever.

There are probably a lot of perks for being part of Jimmy Kimmel Live, but none have ever made Guillermo quite as happy as getting to wrap his arm around Kate Upton.

Kate Upton is a "Mo Sista" and she showed her support in 2013 for the month of Movember and Team Gillette, who work towards raising awareness of men's health issues. These two classy mustachioed gents tried to play it cool, as all men with 'staches manage to do, but you just know they were fighting back big, ridiculous childhood grins under those well-trimmed lip-brooms.

This Italian fashion icon had a smile that could light up a room or jumpstart the sun in the sky just by holding hands with the magnificent Kate Upton at the 2014 Met Gala. Of course, his smile may have just been because of how show-stoppingly sexy Kate looked in one of his stylish black Dolce & Gabbanna gowns.

Sherman might be one of the most misunderstood and outspoken players in the NFL, but there was no misunderstanding the outspoken twinkle in his eye when he got to hang out with Kate at the LIV nightclub in Miami during a SI Swimsuit celebration. Maybe it's just because they share a common bond, having both been featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

Paul Simon is one of the most celebrated musicians in American history, but that doesn't mean he's any better at being around Kate Upton than most other guys. Just look at that awkward, adorable smile and flashes of teenage fear in his eyes. Or maybe he just smiling because, "He looks around, around, he sees angels in the architecture." (Any Paul Simon fans out there? Anyone?)

You can try as hard as you like Topher Grace, with your skinny tie and cool-guy jeans-and-jacket combo, but that's Kate Upton you're posing with. She wins the style war every time. I guess getting to hang with her is a smile-worthy consolation prize though.

Do you think New York Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz looked this eager and excitable during the NFL draft? It takes a lot of excitement to be as good looking, athletic, and well dressed as Victor Cruz and put on that goofy smile just because you're getting to stand close to Kate Upton.

Documentary filmmaker Tom Donahue has covered a lot of important subjects in his life, and he knows how to put on a stoic face. You can tell he wants to look his coolest, but Kate Upton looks like some sort of Forrest Nymph/Mermaid-Who-Took-A-Magic-Potion-To-Get-Legs, and no one can keep their cool when confronted with that kind of mind-melting beauty.

It's hard to tell if EPIX CEO Mark Greenberg is excited to be standing with Kate Upton, or if it's just because this is the coolest Mark Greenberg has ever looked in his entire life.

On September 11, 2012, Kate Upton went to the Cantor Fitzgerald & BGC Partners annual charity day, an event that raises money for hundreds of charities around the world. It's a wonderful event, and no one wants to take away from that. But this unknown businessman looks like someone just made a eventy-quadtrillion dollar donation, and all he's doing is getting to lean on Kate's chair!

Have you ever seen a more whole-hearted smile in your life? There are parents of brand new babies who don't smile like that when they look at their newborn infants. Kate Upton should get some sort of Nobel Peace Prize for being able to put a smile like that on a person's face.

Kate Upton was as a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit event held at Pure Nightclub at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, and she walked up to this classy older gentleman to give him a hug. Presumably, he passed out moments later because, dear god, she's Kate Upton in a purple dress.

He may be the Clark County Commissioner and chair of the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority, but he's still just a good ol' cowboy who loves his whiskey warm, his hats ten-gallon and his guests of honor to look like, and to be as soul-enchantingly sweet as, Kate Upton.

Even this picture of Muhammad Ali on the cover of Sports Illustrated from 1974 looks like he's super happy to be standing behind Kate Upton.

DirecTV Chairman, President and CEO Michael White looks like Santa just granted the wish he made when he was 13 years old.

American football giants (literally, they are giants. Not New York Giants, actual giants, like as told in legend) Jake Ballard and Bear Pascoe spend their days tearing up the grid iron and tackling other behemoths in a fit of mad, competitive rage. In their off-time, they like to go to Professional Bull Riding Championships and get intimidated by Kate Upton's smile.

At a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit signing event, this random fan got his picture taken with Kate Upton, who flashed her naturally genuine smile, while the super-fan gave the best impression of a smile his nervous body and trembling face could possibly come up with.